My mom arrived late Tuesday night. Wednesday was a national holiday–dragon boat festival–so we had lunch with friends and then met some other friends at the boat races. Thursday and Friday we did school stuff. Then Saturday we had lunch with close friends, visited the Confucian Temple in Tainan, and ended the day with a Bible study.
Taking different trains
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Vendors set up at the Dragon Boat Races
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While she can claim that she saw some races, it was really crowded and ended up not being as exciting as other races I’ve seen in previous years.
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She’s also been braving my moped. :D
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And, she’s met some of my students.
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Corrina is like my big sister . . . and she is also our matchmaker and neighbor, so lunch with her family was special for all of us.
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Mom has also had her first taste of mango bing (ice). YUMMY!
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At the Confucian temple
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Tea time with some of my adult students included an awesome bowl of tropical and the most amazing tea made from lemongrass, sage, and rosemary.
Our Easter Sunday this year was a little different–we were privileged to attend Lawrance’s brother’s wedding.
It started with us going back to Lawrance’s childhood home to help the family prepare for receiving the bride.
The groom, YuHong, had shaved his head into the shape of a heart. __ __
The groom showed us his transformed childhood home into a room to welcome a bride. He was proud.
Placed on all the items were little red circles with the “double joy” wedding symbol inside.
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Traditionally children are to jump on the new couple’s bed in order to ensure lots of children. They substituted with a small bride and groom statue decked out in traditional Chinese wedding clothes. __ __
Another new-to-me superstition was that a bride is not to look at herself in the mirror (don’t remember why, will have to ask). However, it really isn’t followed not, but in honor of that tradition YuHong covered the mirror in the bedroom with red paper. __ __
Double Joys were everywhere–even the front door. And they will stay there till ?? (not sure–a year? till Chinese New Year? till they fall off?). __ __
This wedding banner was placed over the household entrance. I think it is religious, but I don’t know more than that. __ __
TongYuan also needed to be prepared. So, Lawrance, the awesome tongyan master, lent a helping hand. Why tongyuan at a wedding? Well, sweet sticky dumplings represent sticking together forever, a sweet life, and fullness of blessing.
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We also had tea and fruit prepared. Serving the tea and tongyuan were my job. ;)
Last Monday was Qing Ming Jie (清明節), known in English as Tomb Sweeping Day. If I am remembering correctly, it is the only holiday in Taiwan that is not based on the lunar calendar–here it is observed every April 5th. But the Wu family observes this holiday a week early. It was my first time to see a family as they worshiped their ancestors at their tombs.
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We woke up early and were on the rode before 7 AM on Sunday, March 28th. About an hour later, we arrived at the temple that houses the urns of Lawrance’s paternal grandparents.
__ It was already quite busy with other families worshiping.
__ While waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I snapped a few photos. This is a tree that is worshiped right outside the temple.
__ Families would start by placing their offerings on the altar.
__ Then they would light incense–making sure everyone had at least three. First, they would bow facing away from the temple–this would be to the worship the “god of heaven.” This here is a photo of our family worshiping.
__ Here is what worship to gods and ancestors looks like in Taiwan. This is called “bai bai.”
__ Next, they would move to the inside incense holder in front of the “main god” of the temple to worship. This might also be one of the only times an entire family worships together. Corporate worship is not commonplace in Taiwan.
__ Then they would move on to the side rooms and/or the back rooms depending on how many sticks of incense they were holding. The back rooms house other idols.
__ Since it was the proper time to be worshiping ancestors, the rooms where the urns were kept were actually off limits because there would be too many people present. So, the side rooms served as another location to leave offerings to ancestors.
__ After everyone in the family had deposited their incense, we waited a few more minutes and then Lawrance’s dad declared it had been enough time, and everyone went back to retrieve the paper money they’d brought to burn and the offerings, this time namely fruit.
__ Then we headed over to an open pit for them to burn the paper money.
__ Here Lawrance explains some of what we were seeing:
__ In this video, he explains one of the papers that was being burned to the ancestors:
__ After all the paper money that our family had brought was burned, we return to Lawrance’s dad’s car and drove about 10 minutes to the home where his dad was raised. But, getting out of the parking lot proved interesting. The photo below was taken from inside L’s dad’s van . . . yeah, it was just a tad crowded at the temple that day. What you can’t see is that there are cars parked on both sides of the road–the woman in red got of the red car to help her husband . . . AND we both (our car and their car) and MORE cars lined up behind us. It was one of those surreal “only in Taiwan” moments for me.
__ I plan to show photos from the rest of the day, which includes how the Wu family worshiped the 9 generations before grandma and grandpa, as well as reflect on some of the implications a holiday like this has on Christian believers later this week in other blog posts.
Seventeen years ago in late February or early March, I confided in my mother. I finally told her about something I had been secretly praying about for quite awhile.
We were standing at the kitchen sink peeling potatoes when I told her. Her response to my secret prayer? She threw the potato and peeler in the sink, turned to look me in the eyes, pointed her finger at me and very sternly said “Don’t you EVER pray things for other people without talking to them first! Because you KNOW God answers prayer!”
Then she left me standing at the kitchen sink while she disappeared for awhile.
Up until that point, I hadn’t really considered that my prayer for something I felt God had laid on my heart to ask Him for and that I had begun to desire would affect her life. But, in reality, it would affect her life in a HUGE way.
You see, I had been praying for a brother.
On March 30, 1993, Mom and Dad sat my sister and I down to tell us that they were expecting. At first we totally thought Dad was trying to pull an early April Fool’s joke on us. But Mom’s tears and persistence that it was true finally convinced us.
So, we told all our friends and announced to our church on the eve of April Fool’s day that there was going to be a Baby Parmley soon. No one believed us. Many didn’t realize it wasn’t an April fool’s joke till after my mom was clearly showing her pregnancy.
I remember Dad once used Sam as an illustration in a sermon on how God answers prayer. See, Mom and Dad had prayed for a son soon after Sarah was born–that would have been around 14 years before Sam was conceived. To my parents, it seemed like God’s answer was no, but really it was just wait.
So, Sam is the answer to many, many prayers from different people and across time.
A lady at our church was praying for Baby Parmley. As she was praying, God laid the name “Samuel” on her heart. She told us all this story, and soon everyone was calling the baby “Baby Sammy.”
Do you know what the name Samuel means? It is Hebrew for “God heard” or “requested of God.” What a perfect name!
God’s timing is perfect. I can’t imagine life without this kiddo. He’s been and still is a huge blessing!
I am SO thankful that Lawrance was willing to let me go to Texas for a month so that I could meet my nephews and spend time with the rest of my family too!
I’m thankful I was able to . . .
spend time with my very grown up little brother
spend the mornings with my sleepy nephews
play with this cute, cute, cute little one and stealing all the sugars I could
Climb up into the chic-fil-a playscape and have a little fun :D
Eat Mexican food with these two awesome people several times!! :)
spend precious time with precious ones
have the "washing machine cycle of life" get messed up because the car battery died
After writing yesterday’s memory, I just wanted to encourage those of you who are in the midst of extend singleness and longing to get married to consider asking close friends and family for help.
Let them know of your desires to be married, let them pray with you and for you, and let them keep their eyes open too.
The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is through an introduction by family, friends or acquaintances. Despite the romantic notion that people meet and fall in love through chance or fate, the evidence suggests that social networks are important in bringing together individuals of similar interests and backgrounds, especially when it comes to selecting a marriage partner. According to a large-scale national survey of sexuality, almost 60 percent of married people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other acquaintances.
I know I didn’t ask and wouldn’t have asked anyone and everyone to help me find a husband. But, if you have godly friends who love you and love the Lord, ask for help. It is not shameful to get help in finding a husband or wife. And, if that is the way God chooses to bring a marriage partner into your life . . . it will be an amazing blessing to both you and to them!
Candice Waters has this to say about giving others criteria for what you are looking for when asking others to “be on the look out for you” as you search for a marriage partner:
. . . the point is that having someone ask questions on your behalf ahead of time can go a long way to saving you embarrassment, guarding your heart and protecting your time.
It’s a concept similar to the pre-screening efforts used in business settings — especially employment placement. It’s simply a matter of helping someone who wants to help you have a better sense of what’s really helpful. Rather than mumbling “ah, great,” when someone says, “I have the perfect person in mind for you!” — especially if that person doesn’t know you that well, or you them — you can feel confident letting them know more about what your hopes are.
If they really want to help you, ask if you can give them more detail — a better sense of what God is revealing to you to look for in a mate. If they’re on board, be willing to let them know what your “must-haves” are (e.g., must be a believer), down to your “nice to haves” (likes to play board games, etc.). Friends and family members who have this kind of information will be empowered to “pre-screen” any potential candidates for you. You’ll be helping them move from good intentions to being an informed advocate.
It’s also a way to remove any sense of obligation you’re tempted to feel when friends and family share leads. What you need are opportunities, not more dead ends. Once they have an objective standard to go by, they can help discern if “good leads” really are.
With some well-informed help from your advisers, and a lot of bold prayer, you’ll be a lot closer to marrying well. . .
No, no, not another one for us. We’ve already had two–that’s enough for one lifetime! :)
Yu-Hong and Cindy
Lawrance’s brother, Yu-hong and his long time girlfriend, Cindy are tying the knot before this Chinese New Year.
We’ve been encouraging them to get married for a long time–they started dating a few years before us. Within the last week they’ve planned to have their engagement ceremony on Jan 24th and their wedding ceremony Feb 7th. Lawrance’s mom was like “what is up with my sons and their fast weddings?”
We took three months from the time we decided to get married to the time we actually had our wedding; they are doing it in just weeks.
Two major ceremonies in two different cities, hundreds of guests and less than a month of planning! Plus all the other details that must be attended to to make both families happy. Wow . . . I don’t envy them at all. However, I am SO happy they have decided to get married. They make such a great couple.
In fact, Lawrance and I were so confident that one day Cindy would be family that I invited her to be in our Taiwanese wedding even though I didn’t know her very, very well at the time.
Yu-Hong and Cindy at our Taiwanese Wedding
Why the rush for before Chinese New Year? Well, it’s more auspicious. You see odd numbers are bad for marriage–everything should be even (2, 6, 8–but of course not 4, a homophone for death). Even numbers are good for marriage–even numbers symbolize that the two will stay together. After Chinese New Year, Yu-Hong will be considered 29 and Cindy 31. 29 is especially bad (as are all years ending a decade).
There are so many levels of culture to this that would make a non-Taiwanese person’s head spin.
YuHong is actually, right now according to his date of birth and Western counting, 27 (an odd number).
His birthday is Dec 25th. So, he will not be 29 according to his date of birth until Dec 25, 2011.
But, you have to factor in an extra year for time spent in the womb.
Then, you must remember that you get a year older during the Chinese New Year–not on your birthday.
Years ago, I would have thought and thought about this, and the illogicality of it all would have bothered me, but now I think “well, I’m happy for them. Marriage is good.”
The only sad part of this good news is that . . . I won’t be there. I’m leaving a week from today to head back to America for three weeks. So, I’ve instructed Lawrance to take lots of photos for me. :)
Update: Yu-hong and Lawance’s grandmother passed away on Jan 12, so Yu-hong and Cindy’s wedding will be postponed. To counter the “bad luck” of getting married in a bad year, they had to consult with a fortune teller to help them pick a very, very auspicious wedding date. So, the lunar calendar date of Feb 2nd was chosen–2/2–a good day for couples. Ironically this is April 4th–4/4–on the Gregorian calendar. Ironic not in an amusing way, but in a sad way as it reveals just how futile man’s thinking can be.
Recently, Lawrance and I went back to Meinong with his family to celebrate our engagement. His grandmother was so happy for us, she decided to treat the whole clan to noodles! She reserved the restaurant and called all the relatives to come home for the weekend. It apparently was a BIG deal. :)
It’s too bad I was sick. I was right in the middle of a cold at the time. It started on Thursday and was at its worst on Monday. Lawrance took good care of me though by forcing me to go see the doc who said the reason my “common cold” was so bad was because it had activated my asthma. So, once my airways were open again . . . I started feeling much better. So, today, Wednesday–I’m feeling better–and went to school for the first time this week. Now, if only I can survive the next two weeks!!
Anyway, back to this weekend, I am so blessed to be welcomed with open arms into this family. So many people I tell about our engagement are surprised at how welcoming the Wu family has been to “a foreigner” marrying into the family. Even non-believers have been telling me how much God is blessing Lawrance and me. How cool is that?!?!
On Sat. night Lawrance’s mom along with her mom and some of her sisters met with a fortune teller.
Of course high on Lawrance’s mom’s list of things to talk about was the impending marriage of her son.
The fortune teller told her that Lawrance and I would have a very happy marriage. That things would just get better and better. He also predicted that by the end of next year we’d have a daughter–he was afraid to tell her this since most Chinese women want sons before daughters. He wasn’t sure if the daughter would be born by the end of next year or just that we’d be pregnant. He also told her that even though at the beginning of our marriage we’d be tight on money, in a few years it wouldn’t be a problem.
Lawrance asked me to tell you all this so that you can be praying for us.
I might have already told you that Lawrance’s sister saw the two of us together in a vision before she even knew Law had a girlfriend.
There is definite spiritual warfare going on in his family. Please pray for us and for them.
When Sam came to visit me this summer, his only request was . . . “to see the monkeys.”
We tried on more than one occasion, but the monkeys live in the wild, so we couldn’t make a reservation and request they be present when we arrived. :) However, right before we left to go back to America, we got to see them!!
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Sam fed the monkeys peanuts and bananas. And, his one wish about Taiwan came true!
welcome to wuhoo!
Hi! We are Lawrance and Amanda Wu.
We live in Taiwan--a little tea leaf shaped island in Asia.
Amanda is from Texas and Lawrance from Tainan. We met, fell in love and married in 2008.
We both teach English and both love to tell others about Jesus. We also both really enjoy laughing, and we both just happen to enjoy "ching cha," a type of fabulous green tea.
After writing yesterday’s memory
