If you wanna know why I live in Taiwan, this post tells you the answer. The post below is the fifth installment of a multi-post series. It is a chronological story of why I live in Taiwan (as opposed to any other “foreign country”), so if you would like to start at the beginning of the story, you can start with part one.
When I got back to America after spending a year overseas, I had MAJOR reverse culture shock. It was even worse than culture shock because no one had told me to expect it, so I was totally unprepared for it. I didn’t know what I was experiencing, but I knew something was not right.
Thankfully, my Heavenly Father knew. He provided two people to help me get through it. One was a former missionary who I met for coffee one afternoon. I don’t even know now how we were introduced, but I will never forget that afternoon of talking and crying through my emotions with someone who understood and could give good godly advice and wisdom. One of the things she told me that stuck with me for a long time was “it is good sign that you are having trouble adjusting back here because that means, first, that you felt at home in your host culture, and, second, that you will want to and can go back.”
The other person who helped me was my best friend–a Taiwanese young woman studying in America. I met her in America, then went to Taiwan to study abroad, and then came back to America and lived with her as my roommate. One day–after she built up her bravery–she confronted me. Basically she said, “Amanda, I don’t understand you these days. You are so fake. Around Americans you act so American, but around us Taiwanese you act so Taiwanese. What is going on? Why do you act this way?”
Although I could have taken what she said has a huge insult, we had a long girlfriend talk, and it helped me to better understood what was happening to me. I explained to my best friend that I was not being fake; that I had adopted Taiwanese mannerisms and ways of talking because I identified with my friends and roommates in Taiwan. That I was struggling to define who I was–which I know describe as a milkshake or fruit slushy.
After living overseas for a year and the struggle with living in America upon first returning, I knew I was to live overseas for a long time. So, I refused to allow myself to readjust to American culture 100%. I fought hard to keep from going into further debt by buying a car and didn’t take out any credit cards. God was SO faithful in meeting my needs. Through my grandparents and their neighbor, he provided the perfect car for me. He gave me jobs that were perfect in that they met my needs, yet still gave me time and freedom to serve and minister to international women, while at the same time allowing me to strengthen my professional skills. He is a great God who cares about the details of our lives.
Another thing I struggled with that first semester I returned to America was what to do when I graduated in December. I sought the counsel of every missionary I could talk to. I asked questions to every missionary sending agency I could find. I thought, and I thought. I asked, and I asked.
Seminary? Grad school? Work in USA to pay off loans? Go overseas two years then come back to study? What to do? What to do? The only way I can describe the feeling is like the agitation of a washing machine–churn, churn, churn. I was totally “an unsettled wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” I so desired to do God’s will perfectly and didn’t want to mess up.
After much tossing, thinking, and asking humans. I just had to trust that James 5:15 was true: “If you need wisdom – if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.” I just kept praying about what to do. After much prayer, I decided to get my MA in Foreign Language Education close to home (so I could spend time with family before leaving to live oversesas).
This was one of those times in my life where how do you decide what is best when all choices seem to be good ones. It was not easy. And I can tell you that it was nothing like the other times in my life when God clearly said “This is it. Do this.” I even begged my earthly parents to have an opinion on the matter so I could be obedient to them as I am still under their authority as long as I am single. I wanted a burning bush, but God gave me no such thing this time.
God doesn’t always work in the same ways in our lives. He speaks to us differently at different times. The only way I can describe my final decision is that He gave me a peace that went beyond my understanding. He took away the washing-machine-like churning that was tearing my heart up and replaced it with total peace.
The fact still remains . . . and the theme of the song I sing about Him working in my life . . . is that He never fails. His ways are higher than mine, better than mine, and can’t be reasoned or explained away. He is all-good all the time and all-powerful all the time. What an amazing God!
The sixth and final part of the story will tell how I came to live exactly where I do in Taiwan. How God put me exactly where I needed to be.
This is the fourth installment of a multi-post series. It is a chronological story of why I live in Taiwan (as opposed to any other “foreign country”), so if you would like to start at the beginning of the story, you can start with part one. (Here are part two and part three).
So, we are up to the summer 1999, and I was on my way to Taiwan for a few months to help two churches in Hsinchu with a summer English camp.
Before I left, my Chinese professor at DBU told me about an opportunity to be an exchange student for the 1999-2000 school year at a university in the north part of Taiwan.
After talking to my parents and much prayer, I decided this was a wonderful opportunity and should study in Taiwan.
Below is a story (”Unseen Tremors”) I wrote several years ago about the situation.
I called my friend’s number again, hoping this time she would pick up and not one of her parents [because they don't speak English]. After a few rings the phone was answered, “Wei?”
“Ellen?”
“Yes.” What a relief, it was her!
“Ellen, I can’t do it.” I wailed into the receiver, not even giving her a hello or how are you. The tears began to fall as I continued, “I just can’t do it. I want to go home at the end of the summer. It’s too much trouble—I have to fight for so much—visas, course numbers, a place to live. Plus, I miss my ministry and friends at school; I long for the comforts of home, the familiar-ness of America.”I continued to rattle off my complaints and worries to one of the only people who could understand me on this little island I now found myself living on. And all Ellen could reply was, “we just have to pray and trust God—isn’t that what you have taught me?”
How had I wound up sitting in a perfect stranger’s apartment on the other side of the world, calling a girl I had been discipling for almost a year to tell her I had just about lost my faith in the God that I was teaching her all about?
That night as I wrote in my journal I pleaded for God to show me who He was all over again. “Maybe I need to re-experience the size of my God—maybe I have no idea how big my God really is,” I scribbled into my journal before going to bed.
I continued to question my faith all summer; sending many emails across the ocean to my mother about how I had no clue as to what would happen to me in August, and about how much I just wanted to go home to something simpler and familiar and trusted. For the summer, I was living with a pastor and his wife in Taiwan, teaching a children’s English program at their church. Then beginning in August, I was to move to another city in Taiwan as an exchange student.
However, from where I was sitting, it looked like no real details had been worked out at the college. I still didn’t know how I was going to get my resident’s visa, where I was going to live, what classes I was going to take, and how I was going to pay for it all if my scholarships and financial aid were not approved for overseas study. Some of these are probably the same issues college students around the world worry about, but I was experiencing them over nine thousand miles from home, in a foreign country where the norms had changed, and in a unfamiliar language. To me, I was having the largest crisis of my life. I felt lost, abandoned, lonely, and afraid of the unknown.
In late July, I called Ellen, to tell her that I had decided to change my plane ticket from August of the current year to June of the next year. I confided in her that it was my way of showing God that I completely trusted Him to provide everything I needed for the coming year—when the summer ended, I would still be on the island. It was a gigantic step of faith for me.
Come August, I moved into the dorm of the university where I was to study. I cried as I said good-bye to the pastor’s wife, a stranger who had become a good friend—I was again entering a completely foreign world; this time with even less English speakers. My friend Ellen had already gone back to the States to study at our American university, so I was totally alone except for my three new Chinese-speaking roommates.
Since classes at the university had not started yet, I decided to tackle the book of Isaiah. I was fascinated by how God demonstrated His power in the Old Testament; I longed for that type of power in my life too. I began to pray for God to move mountains—He said He could in Isaiah.
By September, everything was coming together. My American university had approved all my scholarships and loans to carry over to my studying abroad, and the Taiwanese university had located a wonderful Chinese teacher. I was beginning to get used to my wooden bed, and my three roommates were reduced to only two. Things were still strange at times and new experiences abounded, but I no longer felt like it was the end of the world.
And then it happened—God demonstrated his power in the middle of the night on September 21, 1999!
“What’s happening?” I asked the night. Much to my surprise, one of my roommates responded, thankfully in English, “Earthquake!”
As I climbed out of bed onto the still trembling floor, I was relieved because I knew what was happening. The three of us stared out the dorm window into the darkness. As the earth below us shook again and girls in the other rooms screamed, I hate to admit it, but I chuckled. I stood watching the building across from us shake, and I thought, “God can really do it! He has the power to shake the mountains!” I was amused and thrilled with delight as I experienced firsthand His power over nature and over what I thought were sure foundations.
The next day almost every girl in the dorm went home—again, I was all alone. I was left with my English newspapers, a flashlight, and a battery operated radio. I spent the rest of the week searching the papers for pictures and stories about the biggest earthquake to hit Taiwan in a hundred years and listening to the English radio station as the death toll climbed.
We were without electricity and running water for many days. One evening I sat in the darkness doing nothing. I felt God probing my heart. He asked, “Amanda, how come when I shake the physical mountains of this world you can be amused and not terrified?”
“That’s easy Lord, because I trust You, the One who created them.”
“Then how come when the other foundations in your life that you think are solid began to quake you are afraid that I have left and am no longer in control?” I could not stop the tears that began to run down my face. He was so right. I had so longed to see His power and strength in an amazing way that I had failed to recognize how faithful He had been in the details of my life.
Aftershocks continued to shake the island for several weeks. Every tremor I felt brought a smile to my face. I now pray that when unseentremors hit the other areas of my life, my faith will be like it was on that night: not fear, but rather amusement because I know the One who is in control of all the universe.
“For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,” says the Lord who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:10, NAS)
So, I lived in Taiwan for a year–from 1999 to 2000. It was an incredible, life-changing event. I learned so much Chinese, thanks to my roommates, other friends at the university, and of course an awesome teacher. I learned about being alone but not being lonely. I tried lots of weird foods. I learned about trusting God (something I am ALWAYS learning). I learned to be flexible and “go with the flow.”
Through the Holy Sprit, God changed my personality, changed my desires, changed my attitudes, even changed my taste buds and comfort zones; essentially He just changed ME! And, they were all wonderful, wonderful changes that I now celebrate and couldn’t imagine life without!!
I love that He allows us to be different–that we don’t have to stay the same. He is such an awesome God!! I love that He has compassion for us and cares about the details of our lives!! He is such an awesome God!!
Over winter break as a sophomore in college, me and my roommate decided to take winter break classes. So we hung out in an empty dorm complex together for two weeks of mini-classes. I started reading the short version of Hudson Taylor’s biography. He was the first missionary to inner China. He dressed like the Chinese people–even with the long ponytail. He also sacrificed much–wives and children in addition to physical items. God was stirring my heart through reading Taylor’s life and of his love for the Chinese people.
I knew I needed to go to China.
However, there were two organizations I could go with. One I knew I could go to China, but the other I would check a box that said “send me anywhere you feel led you to send me” (which meant I could be serving in downtown Dallas–NOT A BAD thing at all, in fact I was doing that already every week.) Point is I knew to be obedient I needed to go to China–so which organization do I choose? (A) I know will send me to China or (B) can send me anywhere they wanted me to go.
I choose B. Why? Because every time I prayed, God was telling me to go with B. It was another difficult decision. It is always difficult to choose to trust a God I cannot see who doesn’t write answers next to my questions for me in my journal. :)
I think it was also difficult because I was sure God was telling me go to China and he was also telling me go with B. However, what if B sent me to Mexico? Did that mean they weren’t listening to God? Did it mean I was hearing God wrong? My heart was not at rest even though I was being obedient. My human-ness was still making me nervous and fearful.
Yet, when the assignment listing came from B, guess where Amanda was headed? That’s right: China. God was in control. I should have trusted Him and been at peace. (It was a wonderful two months in China. Again, many life changing events occurred. Maybe I can write about that at another time.)
Now, Amanda had decided China is where she should spend her life, not Taiwan. She even talked to people who help place others in Asia. A “high-up” from one organization told her, “if you can handle China, then China is where you should be. The need in China is great.”
But did you catch the second word of this paragraph? That’s right, “amanda.” I just assumed that China is where I should go, where I should be. That was the “hot spot” of the time–where all the action was taking place. In addition, since I had spent two summers overseas, I had decided that I should stay in the USA this summer to take a few summer classes and spend time with my family doing “summer fun” things.
So, I had a surprise when I was walking to chapel one day in February or March of the following year (junior year in college). The thought popped into my head: “Amanda, I want you in Taiwan this summer.” Oh my, the intensity of that desire was SO STRONG. I HAD to go back to Taiwan! So, all of chapel I planned and plotted and thought about how to get myself back to Taiwan. I left with no plan. I had no idea how I was going to do it.
So, after chapel I went to the BSM (Baptist Student Ministries) council lunch. The BSM director pulled me aside and said, “Amanda, during chapel I was meeting with a pastor and his wife from Taiwan. They want to have a summer camp at their church this summer. They are looking for students from DBU to go and help them. During our conversation, I thought of you; would you be willing to go to Taiwan this summer?” OF COURSE I WOULD!
WHAT?!?! You’ve got to be kidding me!! How does God do that!?! At the same time that I start to desire to go to Taiwan, my BSM director is talking to someone about summer missions in Taiwan, and I come to his mind! Wow!
Why on earth do I still worry about stuff? Why do I still plot and plan? Why is it still a struggle to choose B when I know that is what God has told me to do? He is God of everything. And I still doubt. Oh, Father, please forgive me.
The next post will talk about how my summer trip turned into a year long taiwan adventure.
The pic above is of me with a friend in China in 1998.
When I was in Taiwan that summer, many of the people with me kept talking about taking the new Chinese class when we got back to school. I had a really had time with Chinese when I was in Taiwan. I got tired of hearing it, and it sounded SO STRANGE to me. Moreover, I just detested language learning in general. I had already tried Latin for 2 years, Spanish for 1 year, and German for 1 year and was successful with none. So, I was totally not interested in taking the new Chinese class when we got back to school.
However, on my heart, I kept sensing the need to sign up for the class. So, once again, God and I had a conversation. And I agreed with Him that I would sign up for the class under one condition: that it was still open. You see, my friends also kept talking about how full the class would be and that they had registered early. I thought my “bargain” with God was safe.
Well, when we got back to Dallas, the class was still open. I sat there in my advisor’s office with three different semester registeration forms filled out. One had Chinese listed as a course and the other two did not (one with no foreign language and one with Spanish). That was one of the most memorable moments in my life when I remember clearly deciding whether or not to be obedient to my Lord. Well, I decided to be obedient and signed up for the Chinese course.
So, I started Chinese classes. They were not easy, but they were fun. And one thing that made learning Chinese so different than learning Latin, German, or Spanish is that I actually met people who spoke Chiense as their first language.
In fact, I began to make many new friends from Taiwan and Hong Kong as well as other countries too. I started looking for and intentionally making friends with international students on my campus. Soon, I had more friends from Asia, Africa, and Europe than I did America.
God was changing my heart. He was showing me that people from other countries were just as human as I was–that we had more in common than we did not. He gave me a gift–He allowed me to identify with them and to be able to relate to them in ways the “old Amanda” never would have.
Specifically, in regards to the Taiwanese culture, He allowed me to learn about it, try it out, taste it and experience it in extremely small doses in my own comfort zone. What a wonderful blessing!!
If you wanna know why I live in Taiwan, this post tells you the answer. The post below begins a multi-post series on why Taiwan (as opposed to anywhere else overseas or even Amercia for that matter).
In 1996, I started college classes at Dallas Baptist University. At that time, I was planning to be a freelance journalist (with the hopes to marry and be a stay at home mommy with a great felixable “at home” career). I also wanted to live in an inner city apartment in order to do ministry in my apartment complex. So, to prepare for the life path I had planned, I was a communication major and very involved in an inner city after school program in the heart of downtown Dallas.
Somewhere near the beginning of the spring semester (1997), I began to desire to go on a mission trip overseas. In my head, of course that meant going to Africa or South America. I talked it over with my mom, and she ok-ed the idea under the condition that it wasn’t for the whole summer–she wanted to spend a little time with her college girl during the summer vacation time.
Her stipulation actually made the decision quite easy. Every summer since 1996, DBU has sent a team of students to Taiwan for an English teaching mission trip. The trip lasts one month. Perfect. Does Amanda even know where Taiwan is? Nope. Does she care? Nope. She just wants to tell people in a different country about Jesus.
So, summer comes and Amanda goes to Taiwan. Uh . . . wow! What a “wake up” moment! Life is so different on the other side of the planet. It was actually a love/ hate relationship at first sight. I hated the traffic. I hated the neon lights that flashed all the time all over the place. I hated not understanding everything that was being said. I hated not being able to read. I hated the fact that my neighbor’s dog knew more Chinese than me. I hated the food. I hated feeling stupid because I couldn’t communicate with the people around me. But, I loved the people of Taiwan. I loved teaching. I loved sharing Jesus with my new friends. I loved experiencing new things. I loved having my ideas of the world be shattered.
I was on a life-altering trip. I didn’t even know it.
Well, my 15 min of writing time are up . . . so the story will continue later. :)
The pic above is of me in Taiwan in 1997 testing out musical water bowls.
After reading my post on whistling in Taiwan, Bethany asks some great questions about how I ended up in Taiwan. And, while her questions are specifically about my master’s degree and being here now, the answers would be the middle of the story.
So, first I am going to share the “why of being” in Taiwan and then share the “why Taiwan.” I figure it will take me a few posts to do this; I will just write for 15 min and then continue the story later linking them all together in the end.
Ok, so first, “why do I live in Taiwan?” Well . . . we must first go back to a night long, long ago:
As we drove down LiuHe Street, the neon signs flashed strange looking symbols so different from anything I had ever seen before. The driver of the car was teaching my friends how to say, “It tastes good,” in a harsh tonal language that I could not stand to hear and absolutely refused to speak. Suddenly a sinking feeling flooded my stomach; I could not tell if it was from the unidentifiable object that I ate for dinner or from my dislike for this strange place.
Almost nine years have passed since I sat in the back of that black Honda in Taiwan. Years filled with unique experiences, bouts of culture shock, and immense change. In these nine years, I have learned to enjoy and be a part of the Taiwanese culture so much that it is now my home away from home.
God has done an incredible thing, and I stand in awe. He has changed my heart’s desire so drastically that now living in Taiwan gives me great joy! I count it a privilage to be able to live here–there really is no where else I’d rather be at this time in my life!
You see, growing up in church, I knew we needed “missionaries,” but I did not know that “regular” people still daily worship idols made of their own hands—images that cannot hear, cannot see, cannot speak, cannot understand.
The desire to live in Taiwan lies deep within; I desire to offer hope to the people of Taiwan—people who want success in life, people who crave peace, people who long to be loved, people who desire the best for their family, people who need Jesus, the One, True God.
The Lord’s heart for the nations, for the peoples of this world, is clear in Scripture. I desire to be to Taiwan, not to make converts to a certain faith system, but to share with them a God who is able to set them free through faith in Jesus Christ, in order that they may also have the joy of worshiping my Father and may be able to rejoice in Him with me for time and for eternity.
If you wanna know why I ended up in Taiwan and not some other place, you can read the story starting with: “Yeah, but why TAIWAN?“
welcome to wuhoo!
Hi! We are Lawrance and Amanda Wu.
We live in Taiwan--a little tea leaf shaped island in Asia.
Amanda is from Texas and Lawrance from Tainan. We met, fell in love and married in 2008.
We both teach English and both love to tell others about Jesus. We also both really enjoy laughing, and we both just happen to enjoy "ching cha," a type of fabulous green tea.
The other person who helped me was my best friend–a Taiwanese young woman studying in America. I met her in America, then went to Taiwan to study abroad, and then came back to America and lived with her as my roommate. One day–after she built up her bravery–she confronted me. Basically she said, “Amanda, I don’t understand you these days. You are so fake. Around Americans you act so American, but around us Taiwanese you act so Taiwanese. What is going on? Why do you act this way?”
After much tossing, thinking, and asking humans. I just had to trust that James 5:15 was true: “If you need wisdom – if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.” I just kept praying about what to do. After much prayer, I decided to get my MA in Foreign Language Education close to home (so I could spend time with family before leaving to live oversesas).
God doesn’t always work in the same ways in our lives. He speaks to us differently at different times. The only way I can describe my final decision is that He gave me a peace that went beyond my understanding. He took away the washing-machine-like churning that was tearing my heart up and replaced it with total peace.
