Our Easter Sunday this year was a little different–we were privileged to attend Lawrance’s brother’s wedding.
It started with us going back to Lawrance’s childhood home to help the family prepare for receiving the bride.
The groom, YuHong, had shaved his head into the shape of a heart. __ __
The groom showed us his transformed childhood home into a room to welcome a bride. He was proud.
Placed on all the items were little red circles with the “double joy” wedding symbol inside.
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Traditionally children are to jump on the new couple’s bed in order to ensure lots of children. They substituted with a small bride and groom statue decked out in traditional Chinese wedding clothes. __ __
Another new-to-me superstition was that a bride is not to look at herself in the mirror (don’t remember why, will have to ask). However, it really isn’t followed not, but in honor of that tradition YuHong covered the mirror in the bedroom with red paper. __ __
Double Joys were everywhere–even the front door. And they will stay there till ?? (not sure–a year? till Chinese New Year? till they fall off?). __ __
This wedding banner was placed over the household entrance. I think it is religious, but I don’t know more than that. __ __
TongYuan also needed to be prepared. So, Lawrance, the awesome tongyan master, lent a helping hand. Why tongyuan at a wedding? Well, sweet sticky dumplings represent sticking together forever, a sweet life, and fullness of blessing.
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We also had tea and fruit prepared. Serving the tea and tongyuan were my job. ;)
What started this post was this video posted to facebook by one of my former students. It was filmed at our school: ___
___ So, let’s back up a little, first what is 台客 (tai ke)?
This is actually quite difficult to answer. I’ve heard the term “tai ke” could be likened to the term “redneck” or “white trash.” Meaning it is a certain subculture that is looked down on by the mainstream culture because of class, economic standing, and/or beliefs.
Lawrance also likened it to the hip hop culture–a subculture that is proud of who they are and where they come from that sets trends in music and clothing.
The New York Times says it is “a phrase that originally meant ‘redneck’ but has now come to encompass a youth-focused lifestyle that celebrates both the déclassé (flip-flops, Long Life cigarettes) and the haute (Gucci, Macallan).”
But, this seemingly simple term for subculture also is seeped in socio-political, historical implications. Historically, tai ke was “used by those post-1949 mainland Chinese arriving in Taiwan with the KMT regime.” At that time, “the term connoted ethnic discrimination towards native Taiwanese and was used specifically to articulate perceptions of their unsophisticated outlook and behaviour” (Taike rock and its discontent).
See, literally “tai ke” means “Tai guest.” So, the mainlanders were calling the Taiwanese and Hakka people who had been on the island longer than them–guests.
But, now, thanks to Wu Bai, who has been called the king of tai ke, and the commercial efforts of music companies, the term’s negative meaning has “been subverted and is now given a positive touch to mean ‘coolness’ and confidence” (East Asian Pop Culture). Wu Bai sees tai ke as a “direct expression of national culture.”
However, if you ask local Taiwanese people about what is “tai ke” they won’t refer to the historical or political implications. And, most won’t tell you that it means “cool and confident.” Instead, they will begin describing stereotypical actions of the people they consider to be “tai ke,” telling you how they drive, speak, and even chew.
Here are some things that are stereotypically thought to be “tai ke”–people who wear white and blue plastic slippers outside, have low education, chew betel nut, smoke and drink heavily, have cheaply dyed golden hair, wear imitation name-brand clothing, and hang out around temples or internet cafes, and participate in temple parades. There are even more stereotypical characteristics and behaviors; but, more than actions and behavior, being “tai ke” is a possessing a certain attitude.
So, nowadays, telling someone who is not “tai” they are “tai” is meant to be an insult. It would be like telling someone they have no class or are being disrespectful. But, those who actually are “tai” find pride in being “tai.”
And, while most people in Taiwan look down on things that are “tai ke,” there is also a sense of pride across Taiwan for some of the things that have come out of the “tai ke” subculture because it is uniquely Taiwanese (This is especially true in southern Taiwan).
“Tai ke wu” is one of these things.
OK. So, that brings us back to what is 台客舞 (tai ke wu)?
It is a group dance–similar to country line dancing in that lines of people do the exact same moves at the same time. And, that lots of people know how to do the dance.
And, like the fact that the subculture is mostly about a embodying a certain attitude so is the dance. As I was searching for videos, I saw one Taiwanese celebrity explain that although the foot work is easy, the arm movements and attitude that one has to portray is what makes the dance so special and difficult.
Lawrance pointed out to me that since the dance originated from people who participate in temple parades and hang out at temples, they naturally incorporated certain movements and feeling from temple parade marches that are made when carrying an idol down the street.
There are several videos on youtube showing students doing the “tai ke” dance. Here is what seems like the most watched “tai ke wu” video on youtube. It starts off as a group dance, but dancers back off one by one because one guy is so much better than the rest. All the shouts and screams coming from the sidelines are people expressing their admiration for how great he is doing. This was funny to me at first because originally I thought he was doing a poor job (kinda sloppy on the moves), but the more I learned about tai ke wu the more I realized it was all about embodying a certain attitude–and this guy’s got it.
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___ I liked this one that invited their teacher to join in, and she did. Throughout the video, everyone is impressed with the middle student’s dancing ability–again, she’s got a certain attitude going. ___
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And finally here is a modified tai ke wu (an aerobic exercise version) on the news . . . with all ages participating and the mayor of Kaohsiung promoting it. In this video, you can see people in costume dancing as gods on stage–this is what Lawrance was talking about . . . and we’ll get into more in depth tomorrow. ___
The issue of ancestor worship is complex. It would be impossible to express exactly what it is and what it means to the Taiwanese. Each year I’m here I understand a little more. And, now that I’ve married into a Taiwanese family–as a daughter-in-law to the first born son–I understand even more.
And, still words fail to truly express all that is embodied in ancestor worship. It is more than simply worship.
Worship of the ancestors and showing filial piety is of utmost importance to the Taiwanese.
The worship of ancestors is probably the most difficult aspect of conversion to Christianity for new Taiwanese Christ-followers. Giving up idol worship and temple worship is much easier than giving up ancestor worship.
Why?
Here are my thoughts on the matter:
(1) When a young believer (18-35 yrs old) tells his parents he is Christian, his parents hear “I don’t love you, and I am ungrateful for the fact that you have given me life and provided for me all these years. I don’t care what happens to you after you die–rot in hell for all I care!”
(2) Ancestor worship is corporate worship. It is almost never done alone. The family gathers, two or three pass out incense and the worship commences. If you refuse to participate, it appears that you are ungrateful, disrespectful and have no manners. It’s almost as if you are spitting in the face of those who gave you life. So, the pressure–not peer, but rather familial–is STRONG, VERY STRONG.
(3) The social function of ancestor worship is more than just “worship.” The coming together to clean a family tomb and pay respects is a form of family reunion. To be expelled from participating in qing ming jie is perhaps the most severe punishment that could be given in traditional society–it means that you are no longer seen as part of this family.
Dr. George MacKay, the first presbyratian missionary to Taiwan, had this to say:
This venerable cultus, the worship of ancestors, in indeed the most stubborn obstacle Christianity has to face. It is so ingrained in the nature, and appeals touchingly to the heart, that it requires the strongest conviction and the finest moral courage to beak its thralldom and brave the scorn of friends and relatives, to whom neglect of one’s ancestors in the spirit world is the most inhuman and cruelest of crimes. (Far from Formosa, emphasis mine)
In 1925, the author of an article entitled “Chinese Ancestor Worship: A Study of Its Meaning and Its Relations with Christianity” concluded that “the problem [of ancestor worship] will ultimately be solved by the Chinese themselves. Only those who have grown up within a system in which ancestor worship is central can wisely make provision for its future evolution and sublimation. Ancestor worship still awaits treatment at the hands of those who are both truly Chinese and truly Christian. In their hands we may safely leave its destiny.”
One Christian family I know, uses a scroll to maintain the family tree instead of using ancestral tablets. The names are still kept, family history still proudly displayed and the deceased still remembered. We know lineage and family history is important to God–why else would there be so many lists of who begot who in Scripture if it were not?
Another family held a graveside worship service the year after their mother/grandmother had passed away on qing ming jie. They read Scripture, prayed to the Most High God, sang praises to him, and told stories of remembrance.
I think these are great alternatives . . . the advantage these two families have is that they are not alone. They are families of believers. The first one was a first generation believer, but he is the oldest son and now the head of the household, and his wife and children are also believers. The second one is a several generation Christian family (what a blessing!).
So, for those that are first generation believers, the only one in their family, the challenge to show respect to those who have gone before them and yet also want to make a stand for their faith is huge. One alternative for first generation believers who are also the first believers in their families is to attend the ceremonies, but not participate.
This is what Lawrance and I did. We did not hold incense, we didn’t join the group in their prayers and bows, and we burned no paper money. After they had finished their corporate worship and had gone to line up to place incense before the gods who protected the tombs, Lawrance placed flowers inside the structure at the tomb area.
Lawrance has been a believer for 11 years now, so his parents have had time to grieve and accept the fact that he will not worship them after they’ve passed on. Even so, Lawrance still has to stand up to the pressure from aunts and uncles to join in the worship.
My point in this very long winded post is actually quite simple. Your Taiwanese brothers and sisters in Christ need your prayers. Would you please intercede on their behalf? Would you pray for them to have “the strongest conviction and the finest moral courage to beak its thralldom and brave the scorn of friends and relatives”? Ask the Most High God to give them wisdom and courage to say and do the things that are pleasing to Him.
Honestly, there seemed to be no real purpose for this stop other than to just claim we had stopped by. However, Lawrance took advantage of the opportunity to find out just how many generations of Wu’s have been in Taiwan.
After counting on the ancestor tablet, Law’s dad found that he is the 10th generation of Wu’s in Taiwan and that Lawrance is the 11th generation.
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After this brief stop, we drove about 5 minutes to a grave area tucked between some fields.
Entrance to the tomb area:
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The tomb area was actually quite large. It was a two level area. This photo was taken standing in front of the main “ancestor” structure looking back to the entrance gate.
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Around the outside of the lower area was two tomb like structures. I assumed these were tombs–Lawrance informed me that these were for the gods who protected the tomb and the spirits of the ancestors. One was female and the other male.
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Behind this structure there were 120 people buried.
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The people who gathered to worship at the Wu burial site at 10 in the morning were are all part of the Wu family–so they are all distant relatives. But, for the majority of the people present, Lawrance has no idea how they are related. Some, who had immigrated to the States, traveled from New York City and some from Colorado just to worship their ancestors.
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A few minutes past 10, incense was passed out and everyone (but Lawrance and I) took some. Someone at the front prayed aloud for a few minutes, everyone bowed a few times then they went to leave their incense in the front.
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Then they lined up to leave more incense on the “tombs” of the gods who protect the site and the ancestors.
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Then two stacks of paper money were set on fire–one stack for the ancestors and one stack for the gods.
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After all was done, at about 10:20 or 10:30, firecrackers were set off.
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One thing that dawned on me as we were there waiting for the firecrackers to be lit and were conversing with some of Law’s uncles is that even in death the difference between individualism and collectivism can be seen. In America, we value individualism–being one’s self–we don’t mind doing things alone (ie, it is not necessary to go in a group to get a hair cut).
But, in Taiwan (and many other Asian countries) collectivism is valued–who you are is defined by your relationships. You aren’t “LeEn;” you are “classmate,” “big sister,” and “wife.” And, you probably do feel more comfortable if you could go with a group to get a hair cut–why would anyone want to do that alone?
And so those values can also be seen in how the dead are buried. In America we have graveyards and tombstones for each individual who has lived. In Taiwan, while I guess there may be some wealthy few who do have their own individual tombs, most are buried in mass graves marked with their family names.
Last Monday was Qing Ming Jie (清明節), known in English as Tomb Sweeping Day. If I am remembering correctly, it is the only holiday in Taiwan that is not based on the lunar calendar–here it is observed every April 5th. But the Wu family observes this holiday a week early. It was my first time to see a family as they worshiped their ancestors at their tombs.
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We woke up early and were on the rode before 7 AM on Sunday, March 28th. About an hour later, we arrived at the temple that houses the urns of Lawrance’s paternal grandparents.
__ It was already quite busy with other families worshiping.
__ While waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I snapped a few photos. This is a tree that is worshiped right outside the temple.
__ Families would start by placing their offerings on the altar.
__ Then they would light incense–making sure everyone had at least three. First, they would bow facing away from the temple–this would be to the worship the “god of heaven.” This here is a photo of our family worshiping.
__ Here is what worship to gods and ancestors looks like in Taiwan. This is called “bai bai.”
__ Next, they would move to the inside incense holder in front of the “main god” of the temple to worship. This might also be one of the only times an entire family worships together. Corporate worship is not commonplace in Taiwan.
__ Then they would move on to the side rooms and/or the back rooms depending on how many sticks of incense they were holding. The back rooms house other idols.
__ Since it was the proper time to be worshiping ancestors, the rooms where the urns were kept were actually off limits because there would be too many people present. So, the side rooms served as another location to leave offerings to ancestors.
__ After everyone in the family had deposited their incense, we waited a few more minutes and then Lawrance’s dad declared it had been enough time, and everyone went back to retrieve the paper money they’d brought to burn and the offerings, this time namely fruit.
__ Then we headed over to an open pit for them to burn the paper money.
__ Here Lawrance explains some of what we were seeing:
__ In this video, he explains one of the papers that was being burned to the ancestors:
__ After all the paper money that our family had brought was burned, we return to Lawrance’s dad’s car and drove about 10 minutes to the home where his dad was raised. But, getting out of the parking lot proved interesting. The photo below was taken from inside L’s dad’s van . . . yeah, it was just a tad crowded at the temple that day. What you can’t see is that there are cars parked on both sides of the road–the woman in red got of the red car to help her husband . . . AND we both (our car and their car) and MORE cars lined up behind us. It was one of those surreal “only in Taiwan” moments for me.
__ I plan to show photos from the rest of the day, which includes how the Wu family worshiped the 9 generations before grandma and grandpa, as well as reflect on some of the implications a holiday like this has on Christian believers later this week in other blog posts.
My freshmen English class’ final project last semester was to put together a video introducing some aspect of Taiwanese culture to “foreigners.” These two students–Ray and Steven–made a video on Taiwanese tea.
I enjoyed it, so I asked if I could share their video with yall. They reluctantly agreed (but that’s probably because a good Taiwanese student must show humility in the form of shyness).
Talking about the topic of “marriage” with students here in Taiwan always makes me just a little bit sad.
Most of of my students–male and female–do not want to get married. They claim they have absolutely no desire to get married. I find this SO hard to believe.
As college students in America, I and my classmates/roommates were all about getting married and there was even the “ring by spring or your money back” saying going around, and we were teased and teased others about getting an “MRS. degree.” (By the way, if that was true, I want my money back.) But, maybe even things in America have changed too . . . I don’t know . . . that was 10 or so years ago after all.
Here are some of the things Taiwanese college students (mostly female) are saying about marriage in my classes:
I don’t believe in love. It’s too good to be true kinda like fairies.
Marriage just ruins dreams.
I don’t want to get married because it just “ma fan” (trouble).
Marriage is the graveyard of love.
I don’t want to get married because of the “shu foo” (shackles) it places on you.
Every time I talk to students about love and marriage, I leave perplexed and saddened. I at least now grasp their arguments, even if I don’t agree. At first I couldn’t even understand their arguments at all.
It’s sad. And even though I’ve heard all different kinds of explanations for why my students don’t want to get married . . . the root of them all is sin. The truth is we live in a fallen world. Scripture tells us that God is love. And, I firmly believe that those who don’t know Him are unable to love others. No wonder my students are so hard-hearted and willing to deny the existence of love altogether.
Marriage and family life in Taiwan weigh heavy on Lawrance and my hearts. We aren’t sure exactly when or in what manner, but we desire to allow God to use us to minister to the broken and hurting families and loveless singles in Taiwan.
We invite you to join us in praying for us as we seek the Lord’s direction in our lives, as we ask Him for guidance and wisdom in the decisions we are facing right now. Thanks in advance!!
YuHong and Cindy were engaged on Sunday. This is an official event in Taiwan between the betrothed’s families.
Lawrance's parents with one of the wedding photos at the entry
There are few different ceremonies preformed at the engagement. One ceremony is the presenting of gifts. Here are the “gifts” given from The Wu family to the bride-to-be.
Then Mrs. Wu helped to place the jewelry on her newest daughter-in-law, and Cindy’s mother placed her gifts to her new son-in-law on him.
Like at a Taiwanese wedding, the bride and groom to be are presented with their parents to all present. This is an opportunity to thank the guests who came as well as offer a toast.
In addition there would be a tea ceremony. (But Lawrance didn’t get any photos of that since he was a participant.) I’ll ask Lawrance more about this, and write about it later. I’ve actually never seen it done before, only read about it.
And, there is also an entire banquet feast as well. But, the groom-to-be’s family slips out before the dessert is served. Neither Lawrance nor I know why this is the tradition, but it is. :)
And, there is dress changing, toasting table to table, passing out of candy from a basket by the door as well–just like at a wedding.
Since Cindy’s family is in Taipei, both sides of Lawrance’s family together took a charted bus to the north.
Newly engaged women also give their friends and family members (on her side of the family) a box of cookies or cakes to help announce the engagement. Here are Cindy’s cakes:
And, here is Lawrance with the happy couple!
Since traditionally the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, Lawrance and I didn’t have a Taiwanese style engagement ceremony. I actually think that is one of the reasons why Lawrance’s parents so freely let the two of us get married in my hometown with my friends and family–in their minds it was similar to the bride’s hosting of the engagement ceremony.
I’m so used to using the euphemism “gone to be with the Lord” to talk about someone who has slipped from this world into eternity, and it pains me that I can’t to described a loved one’s recent death. The sad reality is that when Lawrance’s grandmother, his Apo, died Wednesday she didn’t know the Lord.
This my first time to deal with the death of a loved one who didn’t trust in Jesus for salvation. The hope I can usually cling to at times like this is strikingly absent.
We went back to the homestead yesterday to the viewing (which will take place all week), and Lawrance will go to the funeral next week on Tuesday and Wednesday (without me since I’ll be in the States). The funeral will most definitely be very religious and full of worship but none to the most high God. Please pray for Lawrance and his family too.
Most funerals in Taiwan use white as the color of death, but for Apo they are using red since she died at 88 years old (89 by Chinese calendar). Red at a funeral signifies that there is joy that she lived to such an old age. Five generations (her and her husband count as the first) are listed on the red death announcement that will be given to friends and family. She has lived a very hard life and worked very hard for her family. She lived her entire life in Meinong, and in those 88 years witnessed much change to her town and her country.
She deserves to be remembered, respected, and honored but not worshiped. Again, I ask that you pray for Lawrance this week as his family gathers to worship their deceased loved one.
No, no, not another one for us. We’ve already had two–that’s enough for one lifetime! :)
Yu-Hong and Cindy
Lawrance’s brother, Yu-hong and his long time girlfriend, Cindy are tying the knot before this Chinese New Year.
We’ve been encouraging them to get married for a long time–they started dating a few years before us. Within the last week they’ve planned to have their engagement ceremony on Jan 24th and their wedding ceremony Feb 7th. Lawrance’s mom was like “what is up with my sons and their fast weddings?”
We took three months from the time we decided to get married to the time we actually had our wedding; they are doing it in just weeks.
Two major ceremonies in two different cities, hundreds of guests and less than a month of planning! Plus all the other details that must be attended to to make both families happy. Wow . . . I don’t envy them at all. However, I am SO happy they have decided to get married. They make such a great couple.
In fact, Lawrance and I were so confident that one day Cindy would be family that I invited her to be in our Taiwanese wedding even though I didn’t know her very, very well at the time.
Yu-Hong and Cindy at our Taiwanese Wedding
Why the rush for before Chinese New Year? Well, it’s more auspicious. You see odd numbers are bad for marriage–everything should be even (2, 6, 8–but of course not 4, a homophone for death). Even numbers are good for marriage–even numbers symbolize that the two will stay together. After Chinese New Year, Yu-Hong will be considered 29 and Cindy 31. 29 is especially bad (as are all years ending a decade).
There are so many levels of culture to this that would make a non-Taiwanese person’s head spin.
YuHong is actually, right now according to his date of birth and Western counting, 27 (an odd number).
His birthday is Dec 25th. So, he will not be 29 according to his date of birth until Dec 25, 2011.
But, you have to factor in an extra year for time spent in the womb.
Then, you must remember that you get a year older during the Chinese New Year–not on your birthday.
Years ago, I would have thought and thought about this, and the illogicality of it all would have bothered me, but now I think “well, I’m happy for them. Marriage is good.”
The only sad part of this good news is that . . . I won’t be there. I’m leaving a week from today to head back to America for three weeks. So, I’ve instructed Lawrance to take lots of photos for me. :)
Update: Yu-hong and Lawance’s grandmother passed away on Jan 12, so Yu-hong and Cindy’s wedding will be postponed. To counter the “bad luck” of getting married in a bad year, they had to consult with a fortune teller to help them pick a very, very auspicious wedding date. So, the lunar calendar date of Feb 2nd was chosen–2/2–a good day for couples. Ironically this is April 4th–4/4–on the Gregorian calendar. Ironic not in an amusing way, but in a sad way as it reveals just how futile man’s thinking can be.
There was a joke in one of my foreign language education classes in grad school about a student of French who went to France and came back upset because no one in France knew their lines to the dialogues.
I think here in Taiwan, someone actually could memorize "their lines to the dialogue" because they are most likely going to be asked the same questions in nearly the same order . . . .over and over and over again.
However, one thing to be careful of is that the conversation patterns change depending on what phase of your life you are in.
So, since I've been amused by the conversations I've been having lately, it seems that I'm entering a new phase of repeated conversations.
Here is an actual conversation I had yesterday in Chinese (translated to English by me):
Shop Owner: So, hey, why can you speak Chinese? You been here long?
Me: Yes, I've been here 7 years.
Him: Ah, married?
Me: Yes.
Him: Taiwanese guy?
Me: (with a smile) yes.
Him: Oh yeah! Taiwanese guys are good guys, aren't they!?!
Me: (with an even bigger smile) yes. they are pretty good.
Him: yall have a baby?
Me: No, not yet.
Him: Oh, that is just not right! If you really think we Taiwanese people are good. You should make a little Taiwanese baby!
Me: Well, we've only been married a year.
Him: (visibly surprised) Oh! Just a year! I thought it would be much longer than that since you speak Chinese. . . .So, uh, hey, you a teacher?
This particular shop owner cracked me up. He had a very lively
personality and talked with me for a least 20 minutes while I waited in
his shop.
So, as I hopped on my moped leaving his store, I started thinking, and here are my observations/ponderings:
Observation/Pondering 1:
His reply to the baby question was a new one. Usually it is followed by something along the lines of "oh, mixed blood babies are beautiful. I'm sure your baby will be so gorgeous."
Following, Lawrance's example, I reply to that with "all babies are beautiful." He can get away with it–they stop that line of commenting with him. When I'm alone, whoever I'm talking to (especially the grandmas) insist I don't know what I'm talking about because it is a "known fact that mixed blood babies and the most beautiful in the world." At this point all I can do is smile. (Something Lawrance and I have already talked about is how to help our future children deal with all the compliments they are going to receive while in Taiwan. But that's another topic for another day.)
Observation/Pondering 2:
The other place this conversation usually takes me is to the fact that we don't have a baby yet. I mean come on we've been married a full year, surely there is a little one by now . . . or at least one the way! When the shocked listener finds out, that truly the answer is "no, not yet" four out five times they will respond "加油" (Jia you)!!
Jia you is a cheer that roughly translates to something like "Go! Go! Go!" It is often used to cheer on sports competitors at sporting events or to encourage someone who needs a little encouragement in their studies or to show support to someone who is about to take a test or needs to be brave.
At first I found it quite embarrassing . . . that is because I was listening to it with my American ears. Once I realized that it just meant something more like "good luck!" or "hope you get what you want soon," it has become much less embarrassing.
Observation/Pondering 3:
I find it funny/interesting that everyone I've spoken with so far about my language skills since I've been married seems to think that having a Taiwanese husband explains why I'm pretty fluent in Chinese. This is a new one for me and something I've got to puzzle through and figure out. I mean it totally and completely explains everything they need to know about why I'm here. Before people always wanted to know why I came . . . and that leads to a good opportunity to share the Gospel, but now that question is gone once they know my husband is Taiwanese. Hmmm . . .
That's all my ponderings for now. . . back to course planning and syllabus making I must go.
That's
interesting. Who ends up eating the food? In Peru we have something
very similar. They put tons of food on top of the graves of their
family members and leave it for several hours. But when midnight comes,
the family eats the food! I wonder about the logic… what is it like
there??
Something similar happens here. The food and drink offerings are made first before the paper money is burned. In order to offer the ghosts (at ghost month), ancestors (during ancestor worship), and idols (at temples and Chinese New Year), incense sticks are stuck into the foods or food packaging.
After a set amount of time–it varies from family to family and holiday to holiday and probably other factors too–the offering table is taken down and the food brought inside.
The family will then eat the food. Many college students have told me waiting for the tables to come down at Chinese New Year (after midnight) so that could eat the goodies was one of their favorite parts of the yearly holiday.
I have been told that the "spirit of the food" is eaten, they are after all feeding spirits. Some have told me that because the spirit of the food has been eaten the food tastes bland and stale. Others have told me that because the spirit of the food has been eaten the food tastes better, as if it has been blessed. And, then others admit to the food not being that much different at all.
The offering tables are set up differently from area to area and family to family, just like every American family decorates their Christmas tree differently. But there are also differences in setting up an offering table to idols, ancestors, or ghosts.
At Ghost Month, often a basin of water and a hand towel can be found on or near the offering table so that their "honorable guests" can wash their hands before partaking of the meal being given to them. These two flickr photos (here and here) show ghost month tables with the typical basins with hand towel out front.
Not to be confusing, but I don't have any Ghost Month photos easily accessible. What I do have is photos I took last November outside of my school. I noticed everyone was setting up tables with drinks as the main offering. (I have no idea who or what was being worshiped.) And, at many tables instead of the traditional little red wine cups, there were bottles of coke and tea boxes.
Today is the start of Ghost Month, so this weekend when Law and I walked into Carrefour we saw lots of snacks on sale. Piles and piles of snack food. At first I was like "why?" Then it dawned on me–offerings for the ghosts.
________________ People are setting up tables like this with snacks and drinks and fruits in order to worship their ancestors.
Many (if not most) Taiwanese believe that it is best to die at home. If someone does not die at home it is believed that their souls may roam the earth restlessly, haunting people.
It is also believed that each person has three spirits and seven souls. Every seven days a soul leaves. Thus, traditionally the mourning period used to be 49 days. This gives each soul a chance to escape from the earthly body. At the burial, when the body is cremated, loved ones will cry and scream and plead for the spirits and souls to please, please leave the body before it is burned.
Spirit money and clothing will be burned as a gift for the
deceased and food given as an offering so that the loved one will not starve or go without in the
after life.
But, if there is no body and/or the body is not at home, when the souls leave the body the souls will wander, becoming ghosts.
This weekend was the "first 7th day" since the big typhoon washed away homes and lives. Therefour, it is believed that souls are beginning to roam, and people who've lost loved ones are pleading with them to go home.
Here is a CNN video that explains:
This is only more troublesome because Ghost Month is upon us. Ghost month is the seventh lunar calender month when it is believed that the gates of hell open and all the lost souls have one month to roam the earth and be fed (since they did not die at home and were not able to be given a proper burial, there is no one to worship them, so it is believed that they go hungry in the afterlife).
All I can say is please pray.
Pray for the Lord's mercy on the Taiwanese. Oh, how they need to be set free by Truth Himself. Pray that as believers we never forget the reality of lostness and never lose a sense of urgency to proclaim truth every chance we have. Oh, Father, let us not become lazy and complacent.
If time allows me, I plan to discuss further Taiwanese funeral traditions and Ghost Month in the coming week or two. Anything specific you want to know?
PS: I feel for the child in the video who is being lied to by the others about the whereabouts of his parents. I know they believe they are doing what is best for him, but in my mind it can only be making matters worse for him.
Daddy in Chinese is "BaBa." Eight in Chinese is also "Ba." So, August 8th is "BaBa." So, Father's Day in Taiwan is August 8th.
Actually, many people here are surprised to hear that Father's Day in America is not August 8th but rather in June.
Today is also the 2nd typhoon day in a row. Typhoon 莫拉克 has been perhaps the biggest typhoon I've ever experienced. Officially 6 have died and over 20,000 have been evacuated.
We've had heavy rain and wind for two days in a row now. It was dumping 3-6 feet of rain per hour. And, according to Taiwan's Central Weather Bureau, "the storm was packing maximum sustained winds of 144kph."
Signs, plants, and mopeds have been down all over our city, streetlights aren't working, tree limbs are in the streets, and intersections are flooded.
We took Lawrance's parents out to lunch despite the typhoon, but other than that, we've been locked inside.
So, I'd like to let Lawrance introduce his parents to you. So, please meet my in-laws:
Funny video made by Taiwanese college students about using chopsticks.
It shows how you can eat with them (which are all very true things I've seen people do), shows how to separate them in different humorous ways, and then shows some alternative uses for chopsticks.
Here are a few more alternative uses for chopsticks:
–after collecting several (like 20 or so) you can play "pick up sticks"
–testing if a cake is done (similar to the "toothpick test")
–stir drinks (Law often does this instead of using a spoon)
–test to see if oil is hot enough to be used for stir fry
–beat eggs (actually VERY common use here)
–all kinds of craft projects (like making stick or shadow puppets)
–make a rubber band gun (I've had students use this as their topic for their "how to" speeches)
I learned something very important about the Chinese language within the last two weeks.
It actually shocked me to learn something so important this late in the game. How I missed it all these years, I do not know.
Here is what I learned: In Chinese, when you want to show respect, you use the third person and avoid personal pronouns such as "you" and "me."
Now, I already knew that in Chinese cultures you don't call people by their given name. For example, I would address my sister as "younger sister" not Sarah. And, my husband as "hubby" (literally "old man") not Lawrance. And, teacher's get called "teacher" not Mrs. Wu; bosses get called "boss" and so on.
This concept is covered in Intro to Chinese 101. Nothing surprising there.
But, it wasn't until I've overheard my husband on the phone many times recently talking to his boss–a manager. Unlike other conversations, I heard no "you." I only heard her title "manager." So, for example instead of "I got your message," he'd say "I got the manager's message" and instead of "thank you, manager" it is "thanks, manager."
Bells were ringing all over in my head . . . connections being made left and right. I was totally "getting" many aspects of culture (that I thought I knew) at a whole new deeper level. It was a great feeling.
Addressing someone by their title ALL the time and avoiding using even the polite "ning" form of you, is how you show respect. GOT IT!!
After making this connection last week, I asked my husband about it . . .and then I asked him about his prayers.
When he prays in Chinese he NEVER uses the first person. So, instead of "I want to thank you for my wife" the prayer is "Child thanks God for the wife given to Child." And instead of "Please help me to . . . ," it is "please help Child to . . . "
When I asked him about this he said something along the lines of "it just seems so haughty and selfish to go in front of God and say 'I,' 'I,' 'I,' 'I,' 'I.' Using the third person is not just showing respect, but is also is a reminder of my place before him. That I come to him not because of who I am but because of who he is. It is a reminder of my position as fully dependent upon him for everything."
So, my exciting linguistic cultural breakthrough led to something even more exciting and meaningful . . . a special reminder about prayer. I couldn't stop thinking about the implications of calling myself "child" in prayer.
Amazing how something that native English speakers use to be proud and arrogant–speaking of themselves in the third person–is used to show humility and respect by native Chinese speakers.
So, I now know that avoiding "you" in Chinese and replacing it with the person's title is a great sign of respect, but avoiding "me" and replacing it with a word that describes my relationship with the person is an even greater sign of respect.
I now like chocolate for more than one reason. Lawrance came home with a new chocolate-colored camera last week.
After we got the new camera, we, unfortunately and fortunately, learned that our older camera wasn't as broken as we thought. (Unfortunately since we didn't "need" to buy a new camera, and fortunately because now we each have our own camera.)
At first we thought it was just the perpetually shaking shutter, which rendered the camera useless even with power. And, then since "fully charged" batteries were not able to power up the camera for more than five seconds, we assumed that it was dead for sure.
When we got the battery charger for the new camera, we noticed our older camera batteries fit inside, so we charged our old batteries in the new charger. We discovered that the perpetual shaking of the shutter stopped once the batteries were charged with our new charger.
So, it wasn't our camera that was broken. And it wasn't our batteries that were bad. So, it must have been our older battery charger, right? But, the sad thing is . . . the charger wasn't broken either. The charger was just dusty, so the connection was bad.
So, I got a new camera all because we have lots of dust in Taiwan.
So . . . the moral of the story is if you think you have a bad camera or bad batteries, make sure the charger is clean before you reach your final verdict on the state of your camera. :)
Anywho, here are some of the photos we've taken with our new camera:
{our Sunday ritual of "ice"}
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{cutest bug zapper ever}
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{one of Law's fav snacks–dried tofu–kinda like "tofu jerky"} ~*~*~
{where I teach English on Fridays–at a livestock research institute} ~*~*~
As Mrs. Happy Housewife guessed from some great observation . . he was waiting for a hair cut!!
Here is the ticket that the machine gave us . . . the store is called “Just Cut House” because all they do is cut hair–no washing, no styling, noting else but cutting.
And here is a before and after. :)
As Lisa mentioned, it is really simple–at first she trimmed him up, but then I told him just go for it and get it buzzed all over. It’s perfect for summer time. :)
And do you know what!! My man has curly hair too!! Granted not nearly as tight a curl as mine, but there is some definite curl going on there. Too cute!!
Sunday evening at about 9 pm, after visiting with Law's parents, we stopped by the grocery store for some milk and chocolate ice cream (basic necessities, you know). After walking into the grocery store, Law saw this and just had to stop and get in line.
He put 100 NT (about 3 US dollars) into the machine and it gave him a ticket with a number. So, can you guess what he prepaid for? Why is he waiting in line?
By the way, the red light means wait time will be 15 min, yellow means wait time will be between 5-10 minutes, and green light means no wait necessay. I think we waited about 3-5 minutes . . . not too bad for a Sunday night! :)
First, we signed the guest book and gave the people at the table our wedding gift (a red envelope with cash inside). They immediately record the names on the red envelope and the amount of the gift. In modern Taiwanese culture, the majority of the money given at the wedding goes towards paying for the banquet.
And the banquet room was really festive with balloons everywhere!
After the guests had found their tables and sat down, the bridal party and bride and groom entered the banquet hall. The flower children came in after the groomsman and maid of honor, the only thing that indicates that they are there is that someone had tied helium balloons to their wrists. (The man speaking the Chinese . . . that's my hubby, he was the MC of the banquet.)
Thanking all the guests for coming by toasting from the font stage.
Since I didn't get many photos of the food from our banquet, I made sure to get a photo of EVERY SINGLE dish taken at their wedding as well as some of the drinks.
There were around 25 tables.
Here's the view of our table.
After a few dishes . . .bride and groom enter again, this time with the bride in a new dress.
Games and tricks on brides and grooms is a HUGE part of most wedding banquets. This very private couple didn't want to be embarrassed. So, Lawrance and I came up with a game for the new couple to play. He asked them questions such as "who fell in love first" and "who will hold the remote control to the TV." Then they decided who and held up a photo of the one they thought was the answer.
Their "punishment" for not agreeing with each other was for MeiShiang to find (with her hands only, eyes closed) some black file clips that Lawrance had hid on GouJong–one for every question "wrong."
They also had the really sweet idea to "reward" their guests with a "lucky draw." They asked their guests to leave words of blessings on little cards and then drew out 30 of the blessings to read aloud during the banquet. Those whose blessings were read aloud were given homemade mango pudding as a reward.
They then went table to table toasting their guests ten at a time.
After the toasting, they disappeared for awhile and came back with the bride in dress number three and ready to give away the bride's bouquet.
They had a really unique way of giving away the bouquet. They called all their single friends–male and female–up to the front by name. Then handed each one a red string. One of the red strings was attached to the bouquet. The one with the lucky attached string got to keep the bouquet. The rest went home with consolatory chopsticks.
After the banquet, they stood at the door and "song ke." They passed out roses (the first time I'd seen that) and candy as they said goodbye and thanks for coming to their guests. And of course took time to take photos with their guests too. :)
This past weekend, Lawrance and I had the privilege to attend our first Taiwanese couple wedding as a married couple. (We attended a wedding in Taiwan earlier this year . . . but both the bride and groom were American.)
It was a sheer joy to watch these two friends–both believers–commit
to living life together forever.
The elder who helped them with their
vows so totally STRESSED that this was a forever thing. He even made
them take 10 seconds to reconsider their desire to marry and gave them a chance to back out
guilt free if they wanted to.
Because the churches here are small and because the wedding party is usually just one best man and one bridesmaid (in white too), usually the groom comes down the center aisle before the bride. So . . . here comes the groom . . .
and the bride too . . .
Lawrance was able to get the cute flower girl to smile for the camera.
They repeated their vows together at the same time both facing forward. I'm glad they got to say vows at all though . . . because many times Taiwanese weddings have no spoken vows.
When I was at our local walmart/target-like store, I found these: 3M sticky idols.
I was truly taken aback at first, but then I remembered that this is Taiwan, the island of a thousand gods. Father, please continue to have mercy on the Taiwanese people giving them more time to respond to your grace. Soften their hearts and open their eyes. Set them free from the idol worship that binds them.
I found this quote while visiting the World Missions 101 Site last night. It SO resonates with how I feel . . . I've explained it before as being a milkshake.
“We can get out and learn to live in the new culture, and, in time, we will feel as at home in it as our own, possibly even more so. Something happens to us when we adapt to a new culture, we become bicultural people. . . .
In one sense, bicultural people never fully adjust to one culture, their own or their adopted one. Within themselvesthey are part of both.When Americans are abroad, they dream of America, and need little rituals that reaffirm this part of themselves—a food package from home, a letter, an American visitor from whom they can learn the latest news from `home’. When in America, they dream of their adopted country, and need little rituals that reaffirm this part of themselves—a visitor from that country, a meal with its food.Bicultural people seem happiest when they are flying from one of these countries to the other.
(“Crucial Dimensions in World Evangelization”, Paul Hiebert, 1976, 4th printing, William Carey Library, Pasadenia California pg 51,52)
SO true!!! So . . . very, very TRUE!!! :)
Any of you other "bicultural" or milkshake people out there totally identify with this passage??
We live in Taiwan--a little tea leaf shaped island in Asia.
Amanda is from Texas and Lawrance from Tainan. We met, fell in love and married in 2008.
We both teach English and both love to tell others about Jesus. We also both really enjoy laughing, and we both just happen to enjoy "ching cha," a type of fabulous green tea.
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Talking about the topic of “marriage” with students here in Taiwan always makes me just a little bit sad.
