After dating for nearly two months, Lawrance had still not held my hand–or even really touched me for that matter. I knew he had drawn the line for physical touch for pre-engagment at only holding hands. And, I knew that our first kiss would be on our wedding day. But, what I didn’t know is when he’d actually start holding my hand. So . . the story below takes place after we’d been “dating with purpose” for about a month and a half. I wrote it originally as an email to my mom, sister, and a few close friends right after the event.
Sunday night Lawrance and I went on a picnic with Gilby. We went to a park near my home right at sunset. He found a place to eat, and we sat there for a long time. Eating and talking. Gilby was getting anxious, so we stood up and got him to some grass. Finally, he (Lawrance, not Gilby) asked if I’d like to walk along side the river that runs into the harbor.
When he first suggested this park earlier in the week I actually thought that this would be a good time to hold hands. And, I’d even thought about telling him that he didn’t have to “trick me” into holdinghands (like his brother had suggested); all he had to do was ask for my hand, and I would give it to him, but that I’d wait till he was ready . . . he would have to be the one to initiate. I’d even practiced this little speech in my head.
So . . .we walk. I make sure that my hand next to him is free (leash in other hand, purse on other shoulder). We walked this way all the way to the end. For, oh, about 30 minutes. He kept taking his hand in and out of his pocket as we walked. When we turned around at the end I thought “ok, I’m ready to give my speech now.” I didn’t want to pressure him; I just wanted him to know it was ok with me–hoping to take away some of the pressure.
So, we reach the end, and as I’m switching purse and leash (to once again make sure the hand next to his is empty), I look down and he offers me his hand. Before I took it, I looked at him to double check if it was ok. He just smiled, and I took it. I can’t tell you how sweet it was. So gentle of him to do it this way.
I told him I was about ready to tell him he could have it if only he’d ask for it. He told me that he’d been thinking and thinking about how to do it and when to do it and where to do it. He wanted it to be just right. Well, if I do say so myself, he did a good job of making it “just right.”
Later, as the evening came to an end. He told me, “today is a big day.” And, I was like “really? why?” And he said, “because today is the first day I held your hand.” It was so sweet. He is so sweet.
So . . . a month and a half into dating, and he finally holds my hand. Although not easy, it was worth waiting for.
Two years ago . . . on January 15, 2008 . . . a very dear friend of ours, had lunch with Lawrance and asked him to consider asking me out. That night he did.
We know that our Loving Heavenly Father is the ultimate matchmaker, but we are BOTH so very grateful to our friend Corrina helping (ok, begging) Lawrance to consider Amanda as a potential partner.
You see, Corrina was special. Unlike many other people I’d share my longings to be married with, Corrina wouldn’t promise me that “one day I’d find someone.” She never spouted out trite phrases in an effort to comfort me and then change the topic. Nor did she, as some actually did, tell me that I was better off single because I had more freedom and could do as I pleased.
Instead, Corrina would look at me and say, “I want you to be married too. Marriage is so good. You’d love it so much.”
She delighted in her own marriage and felt free to share that delight with me a hurting single. It wasn’t bragging. It didn’t hurt me more. In fact, it was truly comforting because she was longing for me right along side me. Empathizing.
After one night of some deep empathy and tears, I openly asked Corrina for help. “If you know anyone who you think might make a good husband for me, please introduce us.”
Her reply that night (Jan. 14, 2008) was “Amanda, I think you need to go to a bigger church. Go out, meet more people.” But that night after I left, her heart was heavy as she prayed to God for me asking for wisdom in how to help her friend.
The next day . . . totally unplanned, she bumped into and then had lunch with Lawrance, and half way through, she suddenly thought “ah ha, it’s you!”
The rest is history. Blissful, beautiful history. :)
Us with Corrina, our matchmaker, after our Taiwanese ceremony
From Amanda’s View:
We discussed on our first date that that dating “wasn’t just for fun.” And although we didn’t have a “true courtship” since we lived so far from my family and friends, we did seek to live by some of the principles of the “courtship philosophy.” So it was more like “dating with purpose.”
One thing we did was seek to spend time with others and not just always alone. For example, on our second date, I met his mother, and on our third date we had dinner and played games with Corrina’s girls while Corrina and her husband were out on a date.
Lawrance also was really good about sharing very early on with me the things from his past or that he believed strongly in that he thought I might not be able to accept. After telling me these things, he always ask “can you accept that?” His thinking was that it would be much easier to end the relationship at the beginning than hide things from each other only to exchange hearts and then later break them. He is so wise.
Many of our dates took place either in coffee shops or outside. Tainan has great public parks, so there was no shortage of great places for us to spend time together. We started with a standing Sunday evening date, then added Saturday evenings. Later we added Thursday mornings for breakfast–a time set aside for either reading Scripture together or discussing the book Sacred Marriage together (excellent book by the way). Eventually we also began spending Tuesday evenings together too. We did a LOT of talking. It was great!
Another aspect of our “courtship” time is that we agreed on some pretty strict physical boundaries. Since I’ve never been kissed at all, Lawrance decided that our first kiss would be on our wedding day. He also set the physical boundary line at holding hands. He also waited nearly two months to hold my hand for the first time. It was a momentous occasion. :)
Another thing I’ve enjoyed about our relationship is that after a few dates, Lawrance started ending many of our times together–either in person or on the phone–in prayer. Lawrance has done an excellent job as the leader of our relationship making sure that Christ is front and center at all times. What a blessing!!
And, one more thing we were blessed to be able to worship and serve together. During our time of dating we were able to share Christ with students together. And we also attended church together as well as a special Campus Crusade for Christ weekend conference. What a blessing!
I don’t remember when exactly, but I remember where . . . I was on the elevator in my apartment complex riding up to the seventh floor. I looked into the mirror in the elevator, and I knew I loved this man. I knew that if he were to tell me he loved me I’d be able to echo. I knew that if he were to ask me to marry him I’d say yes. I was totally excited by how kind God had been to me.
Our four months of dating (pre-engagement) were a blast! We had so much fun learning about each other and having fun together. We laughed a lot. We talked a lot. And, yes, we (ok mostly me) cried a few times together too. :) They were a wonderful time of drawing closer together emotionally and spiritually. God was graciously beginning to knit our hearts and lives together.
From Lawrance’s View:
Our first date was so “interesting!” Well, I still remember I felt unhappy that afternoon because something happened at my church, and I didn’t want to meet with Amanda then. However, thank God I did meet her then!
I asked Corrina if there were any good places where Amanda and I could have our first MEETING (I thought our meeting at Starbucks for coffee was “just a meeting” and not a date at that time).
We just said hi and then it became “Lawrance’s Talk Time.” I talked non-stop, and I don’t remember every thing I talked about, but I do know I was trying to make her have no interest in me. I told her my past romances and what the girl looks like, my plans in the future, and my core values about love.
She just listened to me with patience. While I was telling her my core values about love, something good happened as she told me “I don’t think dating is just for fun either!” That made me feel she was a very interesting girl. Moreover, after sharing with her, I felt very relaxed and happy (I was no longer upset about the thing that had happened at church that morning).
Well, I don’t know why I would think about her frequently after the meeting and look forward to seeing her again, but I did!! That’s crazy!
I never thought love comes so fast…….
From Amanda’s View:
Our first date was awkward. I could tell he was SO NERVOUS. And, he talked non-stop. I think I might have said a few sentences the whole time.
He laid out everything he thought I need to know in order for me to not want to “go out with him.” He told me all the stories of his previous dates/girlfriends, “rules” and ideas he had for dating, and what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. I felt like instead of trying to impress me, he was trying to get me to reject him.
But instead of repulsing me, he was making me fall more in love with him. I appreciated his honesty and integrity, and I agreed with him on SO many fronts.
Essentially, I couldn’t believe men like him still existed.
From Amanda’s View:
Last year, when I was 29 I went on my first “real date” . . . I went on a few more dates in 2007. And, at the beginning of 2008, I had gone on a few dates with the same guy, but I knew it wasn’t working. So, I told him I didn’t see our relationship progressing to marriage, so it was over. That was Monday.
I felt great peace–I knew it was the right decision. And great sadness at the same time–I truly longed to be married. I needed to talk to someone, so who better than my neighbor and dear friend Corrina.
I went over to her home and spilled many tears. As I left, I told her, “if you know anyone Corrina, please don’t hesitate to introduce us.” I was kinda hoping she still remember that she thought Lawrance and I would make a good match, but at this point I was open to anyone. She told me I needed to attend a big church where there were more single guys and that she would also tell another Christian teacher to keep his eyes open for me.
From Lawrance’s View:
Well…this is a long story about “Making a Match!” Let me think about
how to tell this crazy story . . . . . . ok, I got it!
The day of my last final of the fall semester was a Tuesday. And, after taking my last final, I felt such release and was looking forward to my winter
vacation when I bumped into Corrina, my favorite teacher in the Applied English Department at Southern Taiwan University. We talked about the Campus Crusade for Christ fellowship members who went to Corrina’s church and some other stuff. Then, she invited me to have lunch with her in the school cafeteria.
During the lunch, we talked and laughed happily; however, at the end of the meeting, she asked me if there are some men around thirty years old at my church. I told her no right away. Few minutes later, Corrina asked me how old I was (I’m 28/29 in Taiwanese culture), and then she just laughed—“Ok, then you are the one! Hallelujah!”
I immediately felt something was wrong and exclaimed “WHAT?”
I was shocked that she wanted to match me with a girl because, honestly, I had been guarding my heart from falling love with someone because I knew my future was to work with Campus Crusade for Christ. I needed to find someone who had the same 3Ms (Master, Mission, and Match) as me.
Corrina told me “Just trust me. I wouldn’t do something bad to you!”
“If you don’t tell me who is she, I won’t let you go!” I said.
Corrina told me the girl was a very good Christian, was at my school and that she was very virtuous and intelligent! Moreover, she told me that I’d met this girl before. I was racking my brain thinking of girls I knew, but my searching was in vain, then Corrina said a name that extremely shocked me—”Amanda.”
I told Corrina “NO WAY! That is impossible because she is an American white lady. Most importantly, she is a TEACHER!”
Corrina tried many ways to persuade me into trying to date Amanda. She almost BEGGED me to just have a cup of coffee with Amanda. Well, I thought that since Corrina has always treated me so great that I would feel guilty if I still said no to her, so I told her “Ok, I will try once! Just once, ok?!” And it was so . . . Thank God I said YES to Corrina that time!! He is an awesome GOD, isn’t He?!
From Amanda’s View:
On Tuesday evening, as soon as I entered my apartment, my phone rang. Corrina asked if she could come over.
She asked about “the break up.” After I finished telling her she said, “are you ready for another one?”
I was like “WHAT!?!?!” :)
But, she began to describe this guy she had had lunch with that afternoon. And, I knew exactly who it was. I just knew that she had to mean Lawrance. So, of course I said “yes” even before she told me who she was talking about.
She told me later that when I had left her apartment on Monday evening she was so heartbroken for me. She wanted to help but didn’t know how. She spent much of the night praying for me and asking God for wisdom in helping her to help me.
She claims not to remember telling me earlier that she thought about me and Lawrance making a good couple. She says it wasn’t till the end of the lunch on Tuesday that she suddenly thought about the two of us together. Regardless, I’m glad God used her to bring the two of us together. God is so kind.
From Lawrance’s View:
One day, I was browsing Facebook when I clicked on a picture of a normal American lady in my friend’s friend list. The lady is Amanda whose information box at her Facebook showed she was going to be the teacher of Southern Taiwan University (STU) where I was studying at. Moreover, I found on her Flickr pictures some people I knew—Karen and Christine–my favorite teacher’s (Corrina) daughters. For this reason, I left a message and added her as my friend.
From Amanda’s View: I had told my neighbor Corrina (my friend of about six years and new
neighbor) about this student from STUT adding me to his Facebook. She knew who it was because he (Lawrance) had told her that he’d seen her
girls on my Facebook. She hinted that she had thought before that we might make a good match. But, I didn’t know anything about him other than that he had added me to his Facebook and was a student at STUT.
From Lawrance’s View: Days passed, then I got a call from a Christan friend from STUT asking me for a favor. He wanted me go with him to show Amanda how to get from her apartment to STU because his English was poor. Well, when my friend and I got to Amanda’s place I saw she had Gilby with her. At that time I thought this lady must like dogs a lot.
From Amanda’s View: As we were driving to the school, I kinda “tested” Lawrance by answering all his questions in Chinese. I was wanting to see if he cared more about relationships or practicing English. Needless to say, he passed. He very quickly moved to Chinese only (probably our only “only Chinese” day yet).
{Update: Friends and family in America have been confused by this test . . . so let me explain real quick. In Taiwan, many people want foreign friends simply to practice English–not because they really care about the “foreign friend.” So, I was “testing” this guy to see (a) did he care about me as a person or as a way to study and (b) did he care more about practicing English or relationships (remember, the other guy with us spoke no English).}
He showed me and Gilby around campus, pointing out all kinds of things about the school. Then we sat in a dorm lobby, and he shared his heart with me telling me his desire to share the gospel with Taiwanese college students. He was asking me to help out with the campus’ Christian club, but I was hearing the heart of a man whose heart was so like mine own.
So, I began watching Lawrance . . . to see what kind of man he really was. I liked what I saw.
From Lawrance’s View:
When three of us arrived at the campus, I showed her some important buildings and shared some information about STU with her. In the beginning I spoke in English to her but she replied to me in Chinese. This made me feel relieved but surprised! I didn’t know her Chinese was so good that she would be able understand most of what I said.
I remember I shared a lot of things about Christians at STU and tried to invite her to join the Christian fellowship on campus. I don’t remember how long I talked with her. I guess it might have been around 30 minutes, crazy huh!?
Well . . . at that time I did not think there was any possibility between Amanda and I. Only Heaven knew we would become a couple and would eventually become husband and wife!
welcome to wuhoo!
Hi! We are Lawrance and Amanda Wu.
We live in Taiwan--a little tea leaf shaped island in Asia.
Amanda is from Texas and Lawrance from Tainan. We met, fell in love and married in 2008.
We both teach English and both love to tell others about Jesus. We also both really enjoy laughing, and we both just happen to enjoy "ching cha," a type of fabulous green tea.
After dating for nearly two months, Lawrance had still not held my hand–or even really touched me for that matter. I knew he had drawn the line for physical touch for pre-engagment at only holding hands. And, I knew that our first kiss would be on our wedding day. But, what I didn’t know is when he’d actually start holding my hand. So . . the story below takes place after we’d been “dating with purpose” for about a month and a half. I wrote it originally as an email to my mom, sister, and a few close friends right after the event.
From Lawrance’s View:
From Amanda’s View:
