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On Saturday, Lawrance prepared breakfast for me and mom. He made sweet potato “xi fan” (porridge) and fried eggs.
Taiwanese people eat pickled things with their xi fan. Here are some of the pickled things Lawrance likes on his xi fan.
Funny English on signs isn’t all that uncommon here, but it is now not very common to find incomprehensible English. Usually it’s just funny grammar or a funny word choice . . . but my mom gets props for finding this rarity in the restroom at the Confucian temple here in Tainan.
Essentially the sign is a reminder to flush. Lawrance says the second phrase is a poem and has a double meaning. Literally it is something like “spring mud clearly leaves no mark/trace.” So, it’s kinda supposed to be a play on words about making sure you leave nothing behind in the toilet. My mom arrived late Tuesday night. Wednesday was a national holiday–dragon boat festival–so we had lunch with friends and then met some other friends at the boat races. Thursday and Friday we did school stuff. Then Saturday we had lunch with close friends, visited the Confucian Temple in Tainan, and ended the day with a Bible study.
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Life goes on! Brah! La! La! How life goes on!! This blog probably needs some virtual dusting since it’s been so long since we’ve blogged. April and May were busy for us. I can’t remember all that happened, but I do know we went to three different weddings–two of them lasting what seemed like all day. I started teaching a new class off campus that eats up my one free weekday for grading meaning my schedule got totally twisted around and my free time disappeared. We also were privileged to watch a good friend baptize her high school classmate in the ocean. Several people have mentioned that having a baby will solve our lack of blogging “issue.” And, boy are they right!! We would love to have a baby and I’d enjoy blogging all about it, but we are struggling with infertility. And, that is another reason why blogging has taken a backseat. It’s something we’re working through right now, and I’m not ready to write openly to the world about it yet. Maybe one day . . . And, kinda like when Lawrance and I were dating, when I couldn’t blog about it yet, it made me not want to blog about anything. I’m an all or nothing kinda girl–it’s something I’m workin’ on. If I don’t blog about one of the main things that occupies my mind, I feel like I’m lying. So, it makes difficult to blog about anything. One other thing we’ve been working on recently is cleaning out our home and getting our guest room ready because we have company coming. My mom is coming!! She arrives tomorrow night Taiwan time. This will be her first time in Taiwan. I’m so excited. So, we have two weeks of school left, and then I have a month basically off and get to show my mom all around Taiwan. Wuhoo!! Our Easter Sunday this year was a little different–we were privileged to attend Lawrance’s brother’s wedding. It started with us going back to Lawrance’s childhood home to help the family prepare for receiving the bride. The groom, YuHong, had shaved his head into the shape of a heart. The groom showed us his transformed childhood home into a room to welcome a bride. He was proud. Placed on all the items were little red circles with the “double joy” wedding symbol inside.
Traditionally children are to jump on the new couple’s bed in order to ensure lots of children. They substituted with a small bride and groom statue decked out in traditional Chinese wedding clothes.
__ I was thinking about these photos tonight as I drove home, and I realized I’d not posted them yet the blog. So . . . here is my lovely husband all dressed up in Texas two years ago.
Our dear neighbors and friends, Jerry and Lin, hosted Lawrance while he was in Texas before we got married. Jerry is the one responsible for dressing up Lawrance. Thanks, Jerry!! What started this post was this video posted to facebook by one of my former students. It was filmed at our school: ___
Lawrance also likened it to the hip hop culture–a subculture that is proud of who they are and where they come from that sets trends in music and clothing. The New York Times says it is “a phrase that originally meant ‘redneck’ but has now come to encompass a youth-focused lifestyle that celebrates both the déclassé (flip-flops, Long Life cigarettes) and the haute (Gucci, Macallan).” But, this seemingly simple term for subculture also is seeped in socio-political, historical implications. Historically, tai ke was “used by those post-1949 mainland Chinese arriving in Taiwan with the KMT regime.” At that time, “the term connoted ethnic discrimination towards native Taiwanese and was used specifically to articulate perceptions of their unsophisticated outlook and behaviour” (Taike rock and its discontent). See, literally “tai ke” means “Tai guest.” So, the mainlanders were calling the Taiwanese and Hakka people who had been on the island longer than them–guests. But, now, thanks to Wu Bai, who has been called the king of tai ke, and the commercial efforts of music companies, the term’s negative meaning has “been subverted and is now given a positive touch to mean ‘coolness’ and confidence” (East Asian Pop Culture). Wu Bai sees tai ke as a “direct expression of national culture.” However, if you ask local Taiwanese people about what is “tai ke” they won’t refer to the historical or political implications. And, most won’t tell you that it means “cool and confident.” Instead, they will begin describing stereotypical actions of the people they consider to be “tai ke,” telling you how they drive, speak, and even chew. Here are some things that are stereotypically thought to be “tai ke”–people who wear white and blue plastic slippers outside, have low education, chew betel nut, smoke and drink heavily, have cheaply dyed golden hair, wear imitation name-brand clothing, and hang out around temples or internet cafes, and participate in temple parades. There are even more stereotypical characteristics and behaviors; but, more than actions and behavior, being “tai ke” is a possessing a certain attitude. So, nowadays, telling someone who is not “tai” they are “tai” is meant to be an insult. It would be like telling someone they have no class or are being disrespectful. But, those who actually are “tai” find pride in being “tai.” And, while most people in Taiwan look down on things that are “tai ke,” there is also a sense of pride across Taiwan for some of the things that have come out of the “tai ke” subculture because it is uniquely Taiwanese (This is especially true in southern Taiwan). “Tai ke wu” is one of these things. OK. So, that brings us back to what is 台客舞 (tai ke wu)? It is a group dance–similar to country line dancing in that lines of people do the exact same moves at the same time. And, that lots of people know how to do the dance. And, like the fact that the subculture is mostly about a embodying a certain attitude so is the dance. As I was searching for videos, I saw one Taiwanese celebrity explain that although the foot work is easy, the arm movements and attitude that one has to portray is what makes the dance so special and difficult. Lawrance pointed out to me that since the dance originated from people who participate in temple parades and hang out at temples, they naturally incorporated certain movements and feeling from temple parade marches that are made when carrying an idol down the street. There are several videos on youtube showing students doing the “tai ke” dance. Here is what seems like the most watched “tai ke wu” video on youtube. It starts off as a group dance, but dancers back off one by one because one guy is so much better than the rest. All the shouts and screams coming from the sidelines are people expressing their admiration for how great he is doing. This was funny to me at first because originally I thought he was doing a poor job (kinda sloppy on the moves), but the more I learned about tai ke wu the more I realized it was all about embodying a certain attitude–and this guy’s got it. ___ ___ ___
And, still words fail to truly express all that is embodied in ancestor worship. It is more than simply worship. Worship of the ancestors and showing filial piety is of utmost importance to the Taiwanese. The worship of ancestors is probably the most difficult aspect of conversion to Christianity for new Taiwanese Christ-followers. Giving up idol worship and temple worship is much easier than giving up ancestor worship. Why? Here are my thoughts on the matter: (1) When a young believer (18-35 yrs old) tells his parents he is Christian, his parents hear “I don’t love you, and I am ungrateful for the fact that you have given me life and provided for me all these years. I don’t care what happens to you after you die–rot in hell for all I care!” (2) Ancestor worship is corporate worship. It is almost never done alone. The family gathers, two or three pass out incense and the worship commences. If you refuse to participate, it appears that you are ungrateful, disrespectful and have no manners. It’s almost as if you are spitting in the face of those who gave you life. So, the pressure–not peer, but rather familial–is STRONG, VERY STRONG. (3) The social function of ancestor worship is more than just “worship.” The coming together to clean a family tomb and pay respects is a form of family reunion. To be expelled from participating in qing ming jie is perhaps the most severe punishment that could be given in traditional society–it means that you are no longer seen as part of this family. Dr. George MacKay, the first presbyratian missionary to Taiwan, had this to say: This venerable cultus, the worship of ancestors, in indeed the most stubborn obstacle Christianity has to face. It is so ingrained in the nature, and appeals touchingly to the heart, that it requires the strongest conviction and the finest moral courage to beak its thralldom and brave the scorn of friends and relatives, to whom neglect of one’s ancestors in the spirit world is the most inhuman and cruelest of crimes. (Far from Formosa, emphasis mine)
One Christian family I know, uses a scroll to maintain the family tree instead of using ancestral tablets. The names are still kept, family history still proudly displayed and the deceased still remembered. We know lineage and family history is important to God–why else would there be so many lists of who begot who in Scripture if it were not? Another family held a graveside worship service the year after their mother/grandmother had passed away on qing ming jie. They read Scripture, prayed to the Most High God, sang praises to him, and told stories of remembrance. I think these are great alternatives . . . the advantage these two families have is that they are not alone. They are families of believers. The first one was a first generation believer, but he is the oldest son and now the head of the household, and his wife and children are also believers. The second one is a several generation Christian family (what a blessing!). So, for those that are first generation believers, the only one in their family, the challenge to show respect to those who have gone before them and yet also want to make a stand for their faith is huge. One alternative for first generation believers who are also the first believers in their families is to attend the ceremonies, but not participate. This is what Lawrance and I did. We did not hold incense, we didn’t join the group in their prayers and bows, and we burned no paper money. After they had finished their corporate worship and had gone to line up to place incense before the gods who protected the tombs, Lawrance placed flowers inside the structure at the tomb area. Lawrance has been a believer for 11 years now, so his parents have had time to grieve and accept the fact that he will not worship them after they’ve passed on. Even so, Lawrance still has to stand up to the pressure from aunts and uncles to join in the worship. My point in this very long winded post is actually quite simple. Your Taiwanese brothers and sisters in Christ need your prayers. Would you please intercede on their behalf? Would you pray for them to have “the strongest conviction and the finest moral courage to beak its thralldom and brave the scorn of friends and relatives”? Ask the Most High God to give them wisdom and courage to say and do the things that are pleasing to Him. After the family had worshiped Law’s paternal grandparents, we all went to the home where Law’s dad was raised. Honestly, there seemed to be no real purpose for this stop other than to just claim we had stopped by. However, Lawrance took advantage of the opportunity to find out just how many generations of Wu’s have been in Taiwan. After counting on the ancestor tablet, Law’s dad found that he is the 10th generation of Wu’s in Taiwan and that Lawrance is the 11th generation.
___ After this brief stop, we drove about 5 minutes to a grave area tucked between some fields. Entrance to the tomb area:
___ The tomb area was actually quite large. It was a two level area. This photo was taken standing in front of the main “ancestor” structure looking back to the entrance gate.
___ Around the outside of the lower area was two tomb like structures. I assumed these were tombs–Lawrance informed me that these were for the gods who protected the tomb and the spirits of the ancestors. One was female and the other male.
___ Behind this structure there were 120 people buried.
___ The people who gathered to worship at the Wu burial site at 10 in the morning were are all part of the Wu family–so they are all distant relatives. But, for the majority of the people present, Lawrance has no idea how they are related. Some, who had immigrated to the States, traveled from New York City and some from Colorado just to worship their ancestors.
___ A few minutes past 10, incense was passed out and everyone (but Lawrance and I) took some. Someone at the front prayed aloud for a few minutes, everyone bowed a few times then they went to leave their incense in the front.
___ Then they lined up to leave more incense on the “tombs” of the gods who protect the site and the ancestors.
___ Then two stacks of paper money were set on fire–one stack for the ancestors and one stack for the gods.
___ After all was done, at about 10:20 or 10:30, firecrackers were set off.
___ One thing that dawned on me as we were there waiting for the firecrackers to be lit and were conversing with some of Law’s uncles is that even in death the difference between individualism and collectivism can be seen. In America, we value individualism–being one’s self–we don’t mind doing things alone (ie, it is not necessary to go in a group to get a hair cut). But, in Taiwan (and many other Asian countries) collectivism is valued–who you are is defined by your relationships. You aren’t “LeEn;” you are “classmate,” “big sister,” and “wife.” And, you probably do feel more comfortable if you could go with a group to get a hair cut–why would anyone want to do that alone? And so those values can also be seen in how the dead are buried. In America we have graveyards and tombstones for each individual who has lived. In Taiwan, while I guess there may be some wealthy few who do have their own individual tombs, most are buried in mass graves marked with their family names. I think I’ve fallen in love with a new flower. For a long time now, sunflowers and daisies have been my favorite flowers. They just SMILE at me! They make me OH so happy!! Lawrance knows I’m not a rose fan. They smell wonderful, but that’s about it. Daisies and sunflowers are just so much more joyful. Our second date was to a sunflower field. ___ ___ But, move over daisy . . . and, move over sunny . . . there’s a new girl in town. I think I’ve fallen in love with the peony.  Deep Blue Peony by geishaboy500 on flickr ___  Paeonia, Tree Peony detail byTie Guy II on flickr ___ Like all women she is complex. She appears soft and delicate, but she is so full and flamboyant at the same time.  Peony Momo by geishaboy500 on flickr ____  Peony Opening by nettsu on flickr ____  peony in a vase by tanakawho on flickr ____  rainy day peonies by Pear Biter on flickr ___ Do you have a favorite flower? What does your favorite flower say to you when no one is looking? ___ Last Monday was Qing Ming Jie (清明節), known in English as Tomb Sweeping Day. If I am remembering correctly, it is the only holiday in Taiwan that is not based on the lunar calendar–here it is observed every April 5th. But the Wu family observes this holiday a week early. It was my first time to see a family as they worshiped their ancestors at their tombs. __
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__ Seventeen years ago in late February or early March, I confided in my mother. I finally told her about something I had been secretly praying about for quite awhile. We were standing at the kitchen sink peeling potatoes when I told her. Her response to my secret prayer? She threw the potato and peeler in the sink, turned to look me in the eyes, pointed her finger at me and very sternly said “Don’t you EVER pray things for other people without talking to them first! Because you KNOW God answers prayer!” Then she left me standing at the kitchen sink while she disappeared for awhile. Up until that point, I hadn’t really considered that my prayer for something I felt God had laid on my heart to ask Him for and that I had begun to desire would affect her life. But, in reality, it would affect her life in a HUGE way. You see, I had been praying for a brother.
So, we told all our friends and announced to our church on the eve of April Fool’s day that there was going to be a Baby Parmley soon. No one believed us. Many didn’t realize it wasn’t an April fool’s joke till after my mom was clearly showing her pregnancy. I remember Dad once used Sam as an illustration in a sermon on how God answers prayer. See, Mom and Dad had prayed for a son soon after Sarah was born–that would have been around 14 years before Sam was conceived. To my parents, it seemed like God’s answer was no, but really it was just wait.
A lady at our church was praying for Baby Parmley. As she was praying, God laid the name “Samuel” on her heart. She told us all this story, and soon everyone was calling the baby “Baby Sammy.” Do you know what the name Samuel means? It is Hebrew for “God heard” or “requested of God.” What a perfect name! God’s timing is perfect. I can’t imagine life without this kiddo. He’s been and still is a huge blessing! I love you, Sambo! And that’s no joke.
Underneath the stop sign it says: “Stop car, then drive.” Does a stop sign really need an explanation? In Taiwan–at least here in Tainan–we have really bad hard water problems. I hate that our bathroom looks dirty from all our stuff being coated in hard water deposits. This weekend, I decided to fight back. I was actually avoiding using some of my special stuff from the States (gotta love the USA’s outlet stores!! yipee!!) because it just made me feel gross to touch a bottle covered in hard water grime. I know that at the time I was doing it Lawrance thought I was crazy to even attempt to “clean” bottles of soap, but he did appreciate the effect clean bottles had on the “appearance of clean” in our shower–at least that’s what he told me. ;) So here is what I did:
Now, they aren’t perfect, but I’m happy. :D
*Apparently you can also use vinegar to remove hard water build up, but I opted for lemon juice since it smells better. First, thanks for the feedback earlier this week. We appreciate it!! Second, Lawrance and I are praying about moving, and so I spent yesterday afternoon looking through some apartments online. It’s kinda of fun being able to do this a husband. It was always just stressful before. Also, I’m thankful we found an online site to peruse first to see what is out there before we go looking in person. Here is what we have decided we are looking for:
Things that make the apartment more attractive to us but are not necessary:
There are several we rejected for various reasons, but I thought I’d show you some of the more “interesting” rejects. (Images can be clicked to be viewed full size.)
*Outside shoes are taken off at the door, and slippers worn inside. But even slippers get taken off before entering a room with a wooden floor. Making it the “cleanest” floor in the home. Could you give us ten seconds of your time to answer a question?
If you reading in a feed reader, you’ll need to click over to the site to see the poll. It’s just one question . . . it really should take less than 10 seconds. Thanks in advance!!
Here are some of the issues I’m trying to work around: This blog is no longer just between me and the “great unknown” This blog is no longer just about me and my life Our readership is very diverse Unsure focus of our blog now This land is no longer strange There are SO many other blogs out there Facebook kinda fills the need for why I originally started blogging Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts, suggestions, or encouragement you’d like to share? (Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.) My eyes are dry But what can be done –Keith Green
Yep, that’s right . . . we celebrated our 2nd 1st anniversary this weekend. :D A year ago Sunday–March 7, 2009–we had our Taiwanese wedding and banquet. Which means . . . we’ve been married-married for a year and a half. How can that be?? It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known the man who knows me most and best for a little over two years. All I can say is . . . God is good. He is so very kind. So, happy 2nd 1st anniversary to us!! Wuhoo!!!! This morning started with a jolt–literally. It’s the first earthquake in a long time where I felt like I needed to get to a doorway for safety. It was a 6.4 on the richter scale, with the epicenter in Kaohsiung County, northeast of PingTung City. As of right now, there have been 20 aftershocks so far. Some pretty weak, while others have been quite strong. We are ok. And, while I feared two of our bookshelves were going to fall over, only the photo frames on them fell. My freshmen English class’ final project last semester was to put together a video introducing some aspect of Taiwanese culture to “foreigners.” These two students–Ray and Steven–made a video on Taiwanese tea. I enjoyed it, so I asked if I could share their video with yall. They reluctantly agreed (but that’s probably because a good Taiwanese student must show humility in the form of shyness). Lawrance and I got new glasses over CNY. This is the first time since junior high that Law hasn’t had frame-less/rimless glasses. Of course I’m kinda partial, but I like them! :)  my handsome hubby makes my heart swoon :D
Most of of my students–male and female–do not want to get married. They claim they have absolutely no desire to get married. I find this SO hard to believe. As college students in America, I and my classmates/roommates were all about getting married and there was even the “ring by spring or your money back” saying going around, and we were teased and teased others about getting an “MRS. degree.” (By the way, if that was true, I want my money back.) But, maybe even things in America have changed too . . . I don’t know . . . that was 10 or so years ago after all. Here are some of the things Taiwanese college students (mostly female) are saying about marriage in my classes:
Every time I talk to students about love and marriage, I leave perplexed and saddened. I at least now grasp their arguments, even if I don’t agree. At first I couldn’t even understand their arguments at all. It’s sad. And even though I’ve heard all different kinds of explanations for why my students don’t want to get married . . . the root of them all is sin. The truth is we live in a fallen world. Scripture tells us that God is love. And, I firmly believe that those who don’t know Him are unable to love others. No wonder my students are so hard-hearted and willing to deny the existence of love altogether. Marriage and family life in Taiwan weigh heavy on Lawrance and my hearts. We aren’t sure exactly when or in what manner, but we desire to allow God to use us to minister to the broken and hurting families and loveless singles in Taiwan. We invite you to join us in praying for us as we seek the Lord’s direction in our lives, as we ask Him for guidance and wisdom in the decisions we are facing right now. Thanks in advance!! Chinese New Year was weird for me this year. I was looking forward to going back for the annual hot pot reunion at the Wu house. But, instead I was sadly stuck in an airport. Because of the snow in Dallas, 1 canceled flight, 1 seriously delayed flight, 2 missed international flights, and a redirect to a different city, I missed celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve with family. I was supposed to arrive on Friday the day before CNY Eve, but arrived on Sunday, CNY Day. I think I also kinda missed all the “excitement in the air” part of the holiday by being in Texas for the days leading up to the holiday as well. So, it just made it seem weird. I missed all the fireworks. I missed weeks of hearing “gong xi, gong xi, gong xi ni” played over and over in store speakers. I missed . . . I just missed it. It felt like there was no celebration at all.  Happy Chinese New Year! However, since Lawrance had the entire week off for CNY, we were able to spend the entire week just together and relaxing. We did nothing special or amazing, but it was great nonetheless. We did go visit my best friend, Ellen and her family for a few days . . . which included seeing all her relatives, soaking in a hot spring, getting a Thai massage, making a Costco run and eating great food. So, now the holiday and winter break are over . . . and it’s back to work and school we go . . . hi ho. hi ho. P.S. I’ll take seeing my precious family and spending time with loved ones over feeling “not weird” anytime . . . a little weirdness is good for the soul, right? |
Hi! We are Lawrance and Amanda Wu. We live in Taiwan--a little tea leaf shaped island in Asia. Amanda is from Texas and Lawrance from Tainan. We met, fell in love and married in 2008. We both teach English and both love to tell others about Jesus. We also both really enjoy laughing, and we both just happen to enjoy "ching cha," a type of fabulous green tea. Thanks for stopping by our blog. Wuhoo!                      
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Talking about the topic of “marriage” with students here in Taiwan always makes me just a little bit sad.